Day 2

Early this morning, at like 3:00 am, both Craig and I were up. We found it hard to sleep. Some of that I am sure was jet lag, some the pure adrenaline rush of just being here after so much prayer and work, and some from thinking about Ian and seeing him again.

In having some time to reflect on what the whirlwind first meeting yesterday, I now recall that several times, and by each person in the room (our facilitator, the social director, and the orphanage director), we were asked if we “liked” Ian. We answered quickly and of course, an emphatic “yes!” I recall really wanting to say to them all, “are you kidding? of COURSE we LIKE him! WE LOVE HIM!” Sitting here now, I realize that adoptions do not always work out. Our agency, just a few days before we left, told us to be mindful that we could get all the way here, meet Ian, and not have to/want to go through with this adoption. I was taken aback by that, but I suppose it must be said. I can’t image not “going through” with bringing home our son! To be asked if we liked him, I admit it was strange, and made me feel like he was being offered up to us like he was a thing, and not a person.

Still, I am mindful that things do not always go as planned, and there are families and instances where something occurs that results in the end of an adoption journey. To come this far and not follow through – it would have remained with me for the rest of my life, I am certain of that. I am so grateful to God and everyone who has supported our adoption for giving to us in such a way that we were able to bring Ari with us to meet Ian. It was beyond important that we see them together. Ari is the absolute light and joy of our world and he deserves our best attention to the orchestration and secure building of this new relationship and life changing event in our family. This week is critically important for all of us, and we do not want to miss this moment to fall to our knees in thanks that God led us to a child who was not (or not yet?) effected to badly by the circumstances of his birth, that he could not fit safely and healthfully into our little family.

So, now it is 4:00 pm and we have all been sleeping since we got back from the orphanage today. It was a very emotional day for us today, for several reasons.

Ian is very small, his laugh is so small too, like a little baby almost. He weighs almost nothing compared to Ari, he looks 3 years old, and not 5 years old. He is a very, very happy little guy and so full of energy! We were chasing him around the small playroom from the time he came in until the time he left! We were sweating from playing with our two little boys! I had to even take my sweater off I was so warm. The weather here is so mild, we packed for really cold 20-35 degrees and it has been about 40-50 or more the whole time so far.

When we arrived at the orphange today we were greeted by Mary again (the dog), she yawned big and stood up and wagged her tail! She is a cute old girl. Craig managed to get the shoe covers on today so we all then went walking in with our blue plastic covers. The social director met us at the door and then she split off from us to go and get Ian. Ian’s given name, and the name we call him by while we are here is “Vasya.” Ari calls him that too, and he wakes up each morning asking to go and play with Vasya. We got to the playroom and got settled in and waited for Ian to come.

We saw two other children walk by, but other than that, we have not seen any children within the orphanage. They are all upstairs in their “groupas.” You don’t even hear a single sound of a child downstairs. Kind of strange and a little disconcerting, as you expect to hear the bright noises of many children.

When Ian came in we started what turned out to be an hour of non-stop play and moving and action! Ian is very excited to be out of his groupa. He has not spent a lot of time in the playroom, it is for adopting parents visits so, there would be no real reason for him to be there. He was there for a very short time with Heather and Jeremy Fillmore when they were here to adopt Anya, but other than that, he has not spent hours in this room. He wants to touch everything and explore everything! and run!

Today we got to know him better and yes, one of us even got an unsolicited and spontaneous hug! Craig was playing with Ian in the ball pit and all of sudden Ian just hugged him! It was amazing, but I missed it with the camera. Ian let us pick him up a little bit more today than yesterday. He is clearly not used to people hugging him, or even paying close attention to him, and so he is new to affection that is meant just for him. We are taking it slowly but we are certain that he is going to be just fine.

The social director at the orphanage is a sweet older lady that I got to know much better today. She came in after Ian left and asked how it went. We were visibally sweaty and looked like we had run around the block a few times, I am sure. We explained that we thought it went well. Ari wants to “play” with Ian but Ian, is not too interested in sitting and playing with one toy at a time. He wants to explore his new world and while we totally understand this, I think Ari would prefer Ian to sit with him and color or race cars. Still, Ari said at the end of our time today, “I wanna go play with Ian tomorrow.” We have been blessed with our Ari time and time again, he is the kindest soul!

In any event, the social director began to ask me about what Ian’s life will be like in terms of school when we take him home. She has an interest in children with special needs, this is her field as I was explained. When I told her that children with Down Syndrome even go to college now in the United States, her mouth hit the floor. She asked lots more questions and as it turns out, she had a cousin born with Down Syndrome. His life was tragic here in this part of the world and according to our facilitator, he lived and died in very horrific conditions. The social director thanked us for caring about their children and for adopting Ian, they love him very much. She almost had me in tears, and I saw her eyes begin to water. You do wonder about these women here, and how they do this job of taking care of so many orphaned children. Today, I really felt like they care, in as much as they humanly can, for these kids, and that they must all have a handful that they deeply love. It is a job that I do not know that I could do myself. I have a great admiration for them, and they are clearly not a part of the problem that brings their job into existence. I know not all orphanages are created equally and in some places, the children are treated in unspeakable ways. Again, we thank God that Ian has been here, and been treated with at least some grain of decency.

Later, I found out even more about what these women are thinking when they are watching us with Ian. The women at the orphanage are worried that we won’t take Ian home with us. They see how Ari behaves and then how Ian behaves. Well, in Ian’s groupa, he behaves like Ari does on a regular basis. With us in that small room with lots of new things, he is wild! We understand this and we had no expectations when we came here, except to be totally in love with Ian, and we are! There is no way we are not bringing him home. I mean come on, could you leave this little guy?

In a moment of us trying to calm the playing boys down, I began to sing a song that is a popular children’s song here, called Katusha. I was holding Ian and rocking him and singing this song. He stopped cold from his constant movement and started at me, smiled and it was a real moment of bonding for us. We later learned Ian is very musical and that he likes music. Tomorrow, we will bring music!

On our way out, as we turned the corner from the outside door, we were met by a groupa of children, all with brightly colored little kids’ shovels, shoveling snow! This is the point where I lost it. They surrounded Craig and Ari, Craig had Ari on his shoulders. They said hello to us, some smiled, some cried when the caregivers stopped them from approaching us. One little boy came right to Craig and began touching him, motioning for Craig to pick him up too. It was impossible not to look into their faces, each one (besides the fact that I was looking feverishly for other RR children being adopted from Ian's orphanage), and have your heart break over and over again, leaving pieces of it strewn in the snow they were shoveling. I knew I was going to start crying, it was just a matter of holding it together until we reached the car. They followed us to the gate, and stood there watching us go.

I don’t know how to process this. There are 65 orphans were Ian is and in 2010, only THREE were adopted into families. THREE. The odds are stacked against them and my God, they are only children. Smart, beautiful, lively, vibrant, awesome creations of God, perfect in his eyes and in ours. I want to scoop them all up and – save them. The entire mood of this day was so, sad in a way. We are thrilled that Ian will live, that he will experience a life outside of this place, that he will have a chance to do all of the things that children as we know it should be able to do, that he will learn about God, and that he will be safe, loved, and a part of a family.

Still, there is no way that you can ignore what is going on here, NO WAY. Some of these children have just some small abnormality and they have been sentenced in this way. It is INHUMANE. Many of these children will not live long after they are moved to the institution. Knowing that and seeing them today, knowing some will starve to death in a few years, or worse, live to be turned out into the streets when they come of age, only to commit suicide, or turn to crime just to eat. It is truly more than my mind can bare at this time. I am praying for peace of mind - just for tomorrow, and to take it day by day. I don’t know how our facilitator has done her work for 14 years now. She has said that she has had to learn to handle the emotions and that in the early days, her own family would tell her that she needed to find a way of not depressing the entire family with the stories of so many orphans.

On a more upbeat note, we are meeting the Hook family for dinner in a little while. They are here for their 10 day wait, adopting a beautiful little girl who is now happily named, Evangeline Hook! The incredible story of how they got here is located HERE, and as we get ready to eat and fellowship with them, I ask for your prayers for the Davis family, as they are also waiting for their treasure to come home too.

Thank you all for your support and prayers. We will be turning up our efforts to get Ian home fast when we get back, he needs to come home soon. We would not be here without the help and prayers of hundreds of people all over the world. We are so grateful and we want you all to know that Vasya-Ian is WORTH EVERY SINGLE PENNY and EVERY SINGLE PRAYER and EVERY SINGLE THING you have done to help us rescue him.

Meeting Ian

Monday, April 4, 2011

9:20 AM somewhere in Eastern Europe!

We had a rough night. The jet lag took full effect on our little guy Ari (who has/is/and continues to do AWESOME!) and so he was in and out of sleep all night. Needless to say, that made it a restless night for us all, as he also refused to sleep in the pack and play the hotel had set up for him. Maybe tonight J

We woke up an hour late this morning, so that was not good, made for stressed out mommy. None of us had had showers for more than 30 hours so we REALLY needed to get clean before leaving the hotel. Only problem, we could not figure out how to make the shower work! By the time someone came to instruct us not so smart Americans, Ari and I had already managed to get clean via just the water spout, which is about three feet high.

Once we were all clean, we rushed downstairs for breakfast at the hotel, complimentary and a little bit strange! The “grilled bacon” looked like raw bacon, and the eggs looked really undercooked too. So, we resorted to a continental snack with cheese, bread, and jelly.

First on our way to meet Ian, our facilitator picked us up and we went straight to the government office for our referral appointment. This office area is only for adoptions so everyone there was there to receive referrals. There was a couple from the US, and one from Italy, and several Russian couples. We waited nearly and hour, which was not usual as we were explained. The referral process was easy, a pretty young lady simply reads your name, looks at your passport, tells you about your child, shows you the database picture, you sign that you got the information, and then you get your referral paper. AHH – I felt a little like I won the Golden Ticket to get into Willy Wonka’s factory!

Craig, Ari and our Facilitator leaving the Ministry of Education

Next, we headed to the social workers office. Normally, this is where you get asked questions like, “why are you adopting and child with Down Syndrome, etc...” As luck would have it, we were so late due to the line at the Ministry of Education, that our facilitator worked some magic and we walked in, the social worker signed the paperwork we needed her to sign, and I never even saw her face. We were in and out in 3 min.

Social Workers Office

Then, we drove to the orphanage. Thanks to other families that have recently gone before us, I knew by the surrounding buildings before I saw the actual building, that we were close. Then, we pulled around the corner and I saw the green orphanage building, and then I began to really feel the nerves! We approached, and kids were playing outside. Lot’s of snow here but again, as our luck would have it, today was the first really warm (40-50 degrees) day they have had in months! We didn’t even really need our coats!

One child tried to run up to us as we walked in, but he was stopped verbally by a caregiver. He was so cute, he had a patch over one eye. You hear and see all of those babies playing and your heart just breaks and falls out onto the sidewalk. I don’t know how I am going to go on living the same way I did before Ian. I cannot know what I know anymore, see what I have seen and will see, and even after stepping out and adopting an orphan – to then turn a blind eye. I knew that this would change me, but the extent to which the plight of these children runs so deep in my heart and makes it ache with pain – bringing Ian home won’t be the end. I don’t know what that means right now, I just know that rescuing orphans is important beyond anything I have ever thought about pursuing.

We went inside and immediately, the smell hit me. I don’t know what kind of smell that was, but it was noticeable and odd. Not like a hospital smell though, just a - smell. Then, we put blue plastic shoe covers over our shoes and went inside. Well, all of us but Ari and Craig – The blue plastic shoe covers were too big for Ari’s feet and way to small for Craig’s! two pairs ripped before he even got them on. After entering, we went to the directors office and for the next half and hour or so, we listened to all of Ian’s social and medical history, we even learned his mothers name, and that his father’s name was let blank on the birth certificate. We heard a great deal of things that made me want to burst into tears, but I just continued to take copious notes and hold it inside.

The scariest thing we heard is that Ian is not necessarily well. He is showing signs that he made need heart surgery, for a second time. That was a big blow to us. He also has a few more things going on than we originally thought. Still, when we began this journey, we full well knew, and we full well expected that what we had been told about Ian might not be accurate nor all inclusive. So, while you accept it, to actually hear it and confirm it, that is another thing. The surprise wore off, but the concern now is that we get him home as soon as possible, so that we can get him the medical care and attention that he needs and deserves. We love him so much, that knowing this now, puts it all in a different light.

While we were talking, the orphanage director told us Ian was outside! That meant we walked right by him when we came in! I tried in vain to peer through the white lace curtains in the directors office, at the playground where the children were to see if I could pick him out. It was impossible to see out clearly, so we just had to wait.

Then, as we were getting some important background information on Ian, BAM – he walked right in!

OH MY GOODNESS!

He ran into the office, up to our facilitator, and then he went to a large potted plant, put his face almost right into the giant pot, picked up a stone from the dirt, and put it into his mouth! Once we kind of got his attention, and he noticed we were in the room, he was a cute as could be! Here is a video of our future son, responding to the instruction to “dance” to the teddy bear singing the ABC’s!

He was afraid of us a little bit and kind of hollered out at first when I tried to take his hand, but then after I gave him the signing teddy bear, he settled down. He even took Craig’s hand and let him walk him down the hall towards the playroom. However, half way there, he took off the other way into some other hall! The social director then told Craig to go after him – they were gone for a long time!

Ian is FAST! and a bundle of energy! and ooohhhhh that smile!

Finally, we all made it to the now famous little playroom. There, Ian and Ari went totally wild! Laughing, grabbing every toy in sight, and having a ball in the hanging ribbons! We only had a very short time with Ian but I think the pictures will say it all. He slowly warmed to us and I am sure that tomorrow, when we have a couple of hours to play with him, we will get him to sit in our laps, and maybe even get some hugs! We were only able to see for about 15-20 min. today because we were late from the referral appointment L

Brothers, together at last! and having fun!

Ian LOVED playing “doctor” with us and he is smart! He knew to put the stethoscope on, pull back my shirt a little, and to pretend to listen to my heart beat. He also put on the mask and Doctors hat, and gave mommy a shot:)

He let daddy pick him up! and we found out he is really ticklish. For me, two of the best moments were when we were in the directors office and he took Ari’s hand in his, and then when Ian took both of the little kaleidoscopes we had brought, and Ari began to talk about how one of the kaleidoscopes was his, and Craig started to explain to Ari that Ian would give him one if he asked and then all of sudden, as if Ian knew exactly what was happening, he handed one of the kaleidoscopes right to Ari.

In terms of skills, Ian is able to dress himself, which was clear when his overalls were coming off, he re-hooked them with no assistance at all! He was also able to identify his eyes, ears, nose, etc...after being asked in his native language. He did say “done” in his language too. It is clear that he has cognitive processing skills and play skills. It was all a bit wild though, trying to snap pictures and take video with two little fast moving boys in a small room was kind of crazy, but we managed to get a few gems!

Plans for tomorrow include a morning visit to the orphanage, a trip to the downtown, and then on Wednesday, our facilitator and I, and her son, are going to the famed Kirov Ballet (now called the Marrinsky), where we will see the fairly tale “The Little Humpedbacked Horse.” We also just found out that the Hook family is here in St. Petersburg for their 10-day wait to bring Evan home! and so we will try to meet up with them for a meal as well.

All in all, we are enjoying our time. This is a fascinating city, young by European standards but looks so old. Many statuesque old buildings and art, and many, many aging and dilapidated medium rise condominium buildings. There a ton of new construction too, but it looks like it takes a long time to build things here. We even saw remnants of a past era here, during the time I first came to this country 23 years ago.

When I came here for a month back then, as an 18 year old, my new native friends called me, “Katya.” I was not surprised then, and more rather re-affirmed in the fact that today I learned that Ian’s mothers name was Katya, and she was 18 years old when he was born. God has his plan, and I am happy to be along for the ride.

To cap this post off, lest you think children are the only ones living at the orphanage - please meet Mary, a long, long, longtime resident of orphanage number TBA.

Happy Birthday Ian!...and the winner is!

Today, April 1, 2011, our Ian turned 5 years old.

Where he is though, there was no cake.

So good thing we had one made special for him!

Where he is, there were no candles.

So good thing we had five candles lit for him! and 5 kids to blow them out too!

Where he is, no one sang to him.

So good thing we had a choir of friends, all who have given time, money, and prayers to help get you home!

Where he is, there were no presents.

So good thing in honor of Ian, we drew his Operation BootCamp winner!

...and the winner is...

DOROTHY HURLEY!

Where Ian is, there were likely no special hugs today, or even the recognition that today was his 5th birthday.

So good thing we hugged each other as we packed our bags and laid out our clothes for the 28 hour journey by plane that we will embark upon tomorrow
to meet Ian for the first time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN!

We love you!

and we will be there soon to tell you so in person!