18 years old today

Ian's lovely cousin Lynzay Marie Legois would have been 18 years old today. She would have loved you Ian, and prayed for you. I know she is watching over you.

Ian's Book

All glory to god for putting this special task into the hands of HF, Anna's mommy. Words can never be enough. We hope to leave this book with Ian when we are forced to leave him at the orphanage after our first trip. We don't want him to think we just left him and that we are not coming back.

What is Ian doing right now?

From the orphanage director:

For summer time the orphanage is closed and children go to the country to a summer "datcha" - kind of a summer camp but with better facilities (heating, running water, toilets), which is located in the woods on the Bay of Finland shore. So, they have a wonderful opportunity to spend summer months in the fresh air and be exposed to the nature.

This year they are going there on June 9 and will come back at the very end of August.

Bay of Finland

He's on his way back from summer "camp." Camp, however, is not at all like we think of camp. It is not for fun. It is not something children can choose to do. It is not summer camp like we see in the movies here in the US or that we send our own children off to. It is moving orphaned children from one spot to another. Ian still has no mom or dad or brother to go home to after "camp," and there was no glorious send off. I just remember, the word "camp" has meant a lot of very different things to millions of people in our worlds history.

* * * * * * * *

On a lighter note, Ian's little brother Ari, went to what we think of as a camp for kids, although not on the Bay of Finland - he went to our hometown Racine Zoo adventure camp for 3 year olds! He got to spend time with the wild zoo animals and make arts and crafts. He had a blast, the zoo is right along the shores of Lake Michigan, which was a beautiful and truly godly sight to see each morning when I dropped him off.

The Racine shoreline, where Ian will spend parts of his summers.

Ari's sporting the red Nike hat
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I went to summer camp too (the good kind of camp, where you choose to go and your family sends you off and mails you stuff and gives you cash to buy candy and junk food, and then comes back for you when camp is over), every year for many years when I was old enough to "sleep away."

Gretchen at Camp Anokijig circa 1979

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, I was in my hometown of Racine, WI visiting family on the day I received news that I was qualified to adopt Ian. That same week, I sent my goddaughter Morgan off to the same sleep away camp that I attended as a kid, Camp Anokijig. It was cool to be there to bid her farewell.I can totally see Ari and Ian going off to Camp Anokijig together in about 5 years!

5,10,15,20,25,30....700!

So, we recently pulled out the Schoolhouse Rock DVD to play in the truck for Ari on the rides to and from school. Ari generally ignores most television and movies but for some reason, he is GLUED to this old school grammar rock stuff! We sing the songs too, which probably helps. We're geeks I know, we both love Schoolhouse Rock.

Anyway, the song about counting by 5's is a family favorite and since Ari has begun to count, it's way appropriate.

Today, I'm amazed to report, our adoption fund has grown by 10, 15, 700!...all in the space of a few hours because of one person and her action of an email. It comes now to me as simply no surprise that the connection to this person and my family is crazy! shall I? Yes, I think I shall:

First, her name is ROSE: The origin of the name ROSE has several meanings but generally, it symbolizes the Rose shrub. Roses are a universal symbol of LOVE. We LOVED my great Aunt Rose, and we LOVE what a new ROSE is doing for Ian (see next);


Second, she lives in Tarpon Springs, Florida: My great aunt ROSE, lived in New Port Richey Florida, which is why I have been to TARPON SPRINGS, many, many times (as evidenced by the annual family picture taken in front of Hella's Greek restaurant where we all scream "OPA" as the saganaki is lit a flame!. My great Aunt ROSE wished to live to see Ari, but she didn't make it, she died in New Port Richey after having lived more than 90 years (see next);


Third, we are at 2%: Because of ROSE's email to people we don't know and will likely never even meet, and because of ROSE's single largest donation we have received for Ian to date, today we moved from 1 percent to 2 percent on our $25K goal to save Ian!!!!


We have no words for ROSE (uh, well, except those ones above and the ones from our thank you letter), we just know that God moves and works in very mysterious and wonderful ways to connect people who were always meant to be connected, in one or two or three ways!

Oh happy day.

Pay it Forward...from Ransom to Recompense

On Ian's awareness and fund raising website, located HERE, I have been talking about a family that I am just in utter awe of. The Nalle's are bringing home Aaron, and I featured them on my new awareness site, called A LIFE OF TRUTH.

Most days, I feel like I have a nagging spouse that refuses to zip the lip! God just nags me, constantly! He nags me to do more, nags me to be more, and nags me to work harder, at lots of things that are in his image. Most people see nagging as an annoying thing that is just a sad fact of married life. I see it, in this case, as God saving my life by always reminding me, through emotional, spiritual, and meaningful mental connection, as to what my earthly legacy is supposed to be. With God as my life coach, and the word as my handbook, LOL - I'm set! Bonus: Godly personal training is free!

The Nalle's are traveling again soon, to finally bring Aaron home. Their adoption has cost almost $30,000.00. I need more than that for Ian. It's ransom for children, straight up. Yet, if someone had my Ari, my birth son, behind some dreadful concrete wall, where he could die from starvation and likely would, where he had no mental stimulation, no emotional connections, no fun, no warmth, no hugs, no understanding, nothing really...I would sell every possession I had, beg strangers, and remain upon my knees night and day until I freed him. This is what the Nalle's have done. This is proof of life, as it were. Aaron is no different than Julia and Rob's two birth sons, and he has never been, not since God laid nothing but his faithful servants eyes upon Araon's photograph. (PS - they didn't have to sell everything because he made a way:).

Nag, Nag, Nag....I gave Julia $10 bucks from Ian's fund. I know our donor's would support me on this, all you have to do is FEEL, and you would give more that that to secure Aaron in their arms forever. God says if we do our best, he will do the rest. $10 bucks was truly my best right now, in terms of cold hard cash. However, I have more to give. In something that can never be gotten by money, I am covering The Nalle's (and the Fillmore's, and the Sharp's, and the Crew's family traveling NOW) in constant prayer too. Prayer changes things, it is actually scientifically proven if you want to get technical:)

My recompense for that measly ten bucks is priceless...I'm like a soap opera addict, waiting for notification of a new post, confirmation that Aaron is on the plane, one way, to Virginia (of all places, read HERE and HERE to realize that connection), waiting for the first evidence of home - a boy in his own bed, a boy's face and body filling out because he is being fed and nurtured and loved, waiting for the first video post to hear him laughing. Man, this is good stuff. The joy I get from all of that cannot be bought for 10 bucks.

This is what Julia wrote to me after receiving my pay it forward donation, in which I also told her that I wished it could have been ten thousand dollars:

YOUR 10.00 IS WORTH 10,000.00 - God has multiplied the loaves and fishes a thousand times over for this adoption. Thank you for your donation. It put us over the 28,000.00 mark!! How cool is that??? We have been in awe at His faithful provision day by day. He gets all the glory...

Yes, he certainly does.

Grab This Button



PS - this is "funny." When I started this blog I knew it was going to be about Ian's adoption (even though Ian was not yet confirmed for me), and about my lovely boy Ari, and about my faith walk. As a neo blogger, it is hard to write to yourself (i.e., you have no followers, no one reads your blog). I started to think of it more like an on-line journal that was just for me. Still, we all want followers, come on admit it!! Then, like a figging lightning bolt, as soon as God moved me to the edge of my faith and then nag, nag, nagged me (well, actually literally pushed me), out beyond what I thought I could do and be - BAM, I got followers! Lesson: The way to all things is through him.

And now, a message from our sponsors...

This message is being re-posted here because I care, because I know, I see, I feel, I get it, and I am not going to turn away, ever. This was posted by Andrea Roberts, Exec. Direct. of Reece's Rainbow, the ministry that posted Ian's picture for me to see the first time I knew he was waiting...for us.


I don't post on here as often as I'd like to, but felt led today to share my thoughts.

Yesterday I read a blog post from one of our families who are in Ukraine now adopting two little boys who desperately needed to get out of that orphanage they were in. Her story resonated with me, and will probably resonate with you too.

"This morning at the bus stop I heard some soft crying. I crossed the street and I noticed a black puppy struggling under the bench at the bus stop. It was howling in pain. It must have been hit by a car and crawled off the road. My bus arrived just then so I got on and left. I couldn't help but cry for that little pup. I'm such a dork. I had to pull myself together or my day would be ruined. Crappy, unfair, hurtful things happen every day, all over the world. The only reason I was upset is because I witnessed the hurting puppy. I don't cry every day for all the hurt puppies all over the world. Why today? Crappy, unfair, hurtful things are happening to precious children every day, all over the world. We don't cry for them because we don't witness what is going on. We don't hear about it. We don't know about it. We don't want to, do we? Because then we might have to get a little closer to the edge. "

Every single day, God puts opportunities into our paths to do right by someone else. You see someone or something in need, and that voice in your head makes you think "gosh, how sad", but it's usually not loud enough to make you DO something about it. It could be this puppy, it could be a homeless person in need of a bottle of water. It could be an elderly person who needs help with their groceries or just crossing the street. It seems so cliche and "Girl Scoutish" to just take a moment and do the right thing, but I was a Girl Scout through my senior year in high school, and that experience taught me compassion and leadership skills and a sense of confidence that I could make things happen in my world if I chose to. I can tell you without question that God is WATCHING. We're all guilty of walking away or ignoring that voice...we're busy or late or are nervous to help a total stranger...the traffic light changed...we don't have any cash on us...he's just a drunk....what will I do with this puppy?....somebody else will come along to help....oh, the orphan problem is way too huge for little me to do anything about it....you can't save them all. If I had $1 for every time someone tried to convince me of that, I would be a rich woman. Don't tell me that we can't save the world...we save the "world" of an orphan with Down syndrome very day!

Now this message is not to judge this mom because she wasn't able to stop and help this puppy. This message is to comment on how she felt about leaving it behind. It's a pesky little thing called COMPASSION...and the gift of a servant's heart. It moves us to be open to witnessing the needs in this world, and being open to hear God when He speaks to us...whether it's a puppy or an orphan or picking up a bottle thrown on the side of the road. DO THE RIGHT THING, ALL THE TIME. Reece's Rainbow gives you no choice but to step to the edge and to witness the need of these children first hand. It's easy to feel overwhelmed by the number of faces staring back at you from our website. Don't be afraid to let it in. The pain and heartache is gut-wrenching, but it also motivates you to step up to the plate and say 'Here I am, Lord".

I and our amazing team of volunteers and advocates work tirelessly to keep these children front and center, in the face of people both inside and outside of the Down syndrome community. Many are just oblivious to the crisis, and are appaled (as I was) when they first learn of what life can be like for these kids abroad. It is particularly moving when someone writes me to say "oh my goodness, I can't stop crying, I had no idea, what can I do?" RR isn't just about fundraising, but raising awareness is a 24/7 job. The need never ends, so the work never ends. No, not everyone is in a position to adopt a child for many reasons...some people aren't even in a position to donate. But everyone is in a position to pray and to share Reece's Rainbow with others.

My husband and I joined our new church here yesterday morning. (Grace United Methodist in Gaithersburg, Maryland). And I was grateful to our new pastor for giving me 5 minutes to introduce myself and share the way God is working in my life through my son, Reece. (as if I could cram everything I have to say about the orphan crisis into 5 minutes! lol) Many people in the church do not know me well, even though we have attended there regularly over the course of the last two years, because many Sundays, I choose to stay home and "work". 70 hours a week includes weekends. These children are languishing in orphanages and mental institutions. Every minute that goes by for them is excruciatingly lonely, boring, hungry and hopeless. They have no concept of the days of the week, they all run together in endless suffering. God commands us to rest on the Sabbath, but this isn't "work" for me. It is service to God and to His children, all of whom He knows by name and has given a voice of hope to through Reece's Rainbow. So resting really isn't an option...asking for help from others IS.

After my few minutes in front of the congregation, so many folks were moved, they had no idea of the problem, they were "so proud of me"....I appreciate that greatly, and it always feels good to know that folks like what RR is doing. But I am not interested in being honored or uplifted for this work. I am interested in people stepping up to HELP ME and to feel as deeply passionate about serving as I do. Turn that burden in your heart into action. RR is coming into our very busiest time of the year. There have been no "lazy days of summer" for me as we prepare for:

1. Updating and extending our powerful ministry video http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=b286b09fd78b4ab61b5491&skin_id=1009&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
2. Upcoming Buddy Walks (which we still need volunteers and donations for!, www.reecesrainbow.org/buddywalks.html )
3. Our Christmas Angel Tree will be here before I can blink. (www.reecesrainbow.org/angeltree2010.html)
4. We're still raising funds for our mission trip to the DownsEd Convention in Ukraine (Sep 17-23), empowering birth families of children with Down syndrome there (www.reecesrainbow.org/downsedkiev.html)
5. Serving as the keynote speaker for the 30th Anniversary Celebration of Pathfinder Village (www.pathfindervillage.org)
6. My heart is burdened for the last minute financial needs of some of our adopting families, which is preventing them from submitting dossiers and traveling
7. Participating in the Raleigh, NC Down Syndrome Golf Tournament (October 2)
8. Accepting the Congressional Angel in Adoption Award (October 4-6 in Washington, DC)
9. Visiting with RR families in Richmond, VA and Raleigh, NC for their Buddy Walks (October 9 and 10)
10. Visiting with RR families in Alabama and attending the Birmingham Buddy Walk (October 13-17)
11. Growing our RR Canada program and raising awareness there
12. Expanding our ministry into more of Latin America, Asia, and Africa
13. Seeking more media opportunities outside of our traditional Down syndrome community
14. Reaching out for greater church support, from all faiths
15. Further emphasis on keeping the at risk children from being sent to the institutions
16. Greater exposure for the Older Children
17. Further growth of our HIV and Other Angels programs
18. Preparing for NEXT YEAR's World Down Syndrome Day in Bulgaria (www.reecesrainbow.org/connectingtherainbow.html)
19. Preparing for the launch of the "Know The Truth" campaign for next Mother's Day already!
20. Maximizing our presence on Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, and the Cambridge "Who's Who" Leadership Forum

And somewhere in between all of this "executive/strategic leadership stuff" are the even more critical daily activities of answering new family e-mails, processing donations, posting new kids, updating FSP's, working through crises, building new agency relationships, seeking new children and new country programs, budgets, Board Meetings, etc etc etc. It ALL has to be done to maintain and grow this ministry....

There are just SO many ways you can help...you CAN make a difference. Put your own servant's heart to work and watch your efforts change the course of a child's life! I can't do all of this by myself! RR has only grown as much as it has because of the commitment and dedication of so many volunteers and advocates who share the same passion.

Write me if you have questions, and thanks to ALL of you for everything you do to bring Reece's Rainbow into the lives of others. bamaroberts@comcast.net

Andrea Roberts, Executive Director

Reece's Rainbow Down Syndrome Adoption Ministry

www.reecesrainbow.org

Dossier "Thing 1" - Training Classes & A note to Ian

Well, thanks to the many generous donations thus far, I was able to pay for and begin the many hours of adoption training classes that are required to be submitted in my dossier. The class was $39.99. I looked into several on-line offerings that would meet the dossier requirements and this choice was by far the most cost effective. It is the longest, in terms of time requires to complete, but in my mind, that is a good thing. It is the only offering that had a syllabus and the only one to cover so many topics. The "eye candy" course was almost $200.00! No way do I want to spend Ian's adoption money on eye candy that won't teach me much. This company seems more grassroots, which is right up my alley. I'll keep you posted, I plan to start tonight:)

Here is my first class. It is online (thank you!) so I can work on it at anytime of the day or night and I don't have to spend money on a sitter for Ari or gas to get to a classroom:

Welcome Gretchen Stewart!

Thank you for joining course: JSBG2-Adopting older children internationally: making a decision and coping with post-adoption difficulties .

After entering the course, locate the Lesson area and click on one of the Lesson Names to begin. You must pass all required lessons to complete the course. You have to complete this course by 9/7/2010. Upon completion you will receive a certificate that you can print or access at any time.

This comprehensive course is developed for parents considering adoption of older children internationally. It covers a lot of information from a pre-adoption decision making to post-adoption difficulties of adjustment period and beyond. The course material gives you an insight into what it may be like to bring up a traumatized child with an institutional background, gives you real life examples of how the child's behavioral, emotional and educational problems can be approached, and where to go if you need help or information. It's likely that you will not encounter all of the discussed subjects right from the start of your adoption, but you will want to return to them later.

These are my units for this class:

• Unit 1. Older internationally adopted children as a group

• Unit 2. Making a decision to adopt internationally

• Unit 3. Building the family together and resolving emotional issues

• Unit 4. Managing behavior and building new skills

• Unit 5. Addressing educational issues

• Unit 6. Parental survival skills

• Unit 7. Professional medical and psychological help

• Exit quiz Hmmmm, completed Unit 1 and I've obviously strapped into another roller coaster ride. Being an educator is a double-edged sword in this whole thing, and in raising children all together because I know, first hand, how all of these things impact children developmentally. Yet, I am also able to be sustained by faith, hope, and the scientific knowledge that the human brain can grow new dendrites every 15 min., no matter how young or old you are! Attachment is the basis for everything, and Ian has been without the proper attachment figures for his whole life. I would be a fool not to prepare us for the real world, day to day outcomes of that deficit in his life. It is everything really. Today I am holding back the sad tears again, mourning for the absence of those critical relationships and attachments Ian has never had. If we could intervene when they are babies, the work would be simpler in the sense of what we do naturally as caregivers fills so much of the most important attachment issues. Still, God led me to Ian at this time in both of our lives, not before and not after. I have to trust that there is very good reason for this. In fact, I can already provide a laundry list as to why it never would have worked before, and why later isn't going to be the case either. Ian does not speak, and I am not at all surprised by this. My letter to Ian today: My Dear Ian Will, Don't worry about all that stuff mommy is talking about above, we will work on it. If we all have to learn ASL, we will do it! If we all have to learn your native language as a stepping stone, we will do it! (well, actually, we are already doing that:) We are here for you son, and even though we are physically apart for a while more, mommy is working so very hard to make sure that we are ready for you. We miss you every moment of everyday, and we talk about you and we include you in every way that we can. Ari prays for you everyday and he always says to me, "...wanna go on the plane and see Ian mama, right now." Your little friend Anna's mommy, who will come see her and you soon, she is helping mommy make you a book just like Anna's with a family of your own! Mommy will bring it to you soon! Hang on baby boy, we have lots to do before we get permission to book those flights to come and meet you, but mommy is using all of her smarts to get us there as soon as she can:) We love you so much little buddy!!!

Crying the river that leads to Ian

I haven't cried for a while. To be honest, I think I put all of the fear and things that could cause me worry about this whole process, and in my life as a single mom with a birth son with Autism, and with all of the "normal" stuff of life like foolish drivers during the morning commute, the woes of public education and my role as a public school special ed teacher support person, BP, the laundry that I left in the dryer and is now wrinkled, the two chocolate covered doughnuts I ate at midnight last night, those incessant bills from Children's Healthcare of Atlanta, my ongoing struggle to de-clutter....

I think I put all of that in some corner of my mind so that it can remain overshadowed by the absolute pure joy that is my son, that is Ian coming home to us forever, that is the nice person who let me in the turn lane ahead of them, that is the fifth grade student I had in my class years ago who is now in college and who said to me not too long ago,"you were my favorite teacher ever!" that is the wonderful man and father figure in our lives who could care less if the clothes are all wrinkly, that is the natural beauty of the park I get to run in to work off my sweet tooth, that is the fact that I have a job that provides me health insurance to help meet the challenges of my son's conditions, that is the Container Store! for all of my organizational fantasies....and on and on....

Today I'm crying, like a baby really.

People I don't know, and might never meet, are stepping up to stand with me and "hold" my hand through it all as we work to bring Ian home. $25,000.00 is no little sum of money, especially in this economy, every penny counts. Asking people for money has never been my strong suit. Asking people to save the children however, is something I have never been shy or afraid to do. Go figure?

(Never mind all of the things that are wrong with needing that sum of money and more to buy a chance for a little boy to learn to speak, to feel the love of a brother and a family, to sleep in a warm bed, to get glasses so he won't loose his vision, to eat till his belly pops, to play, to run free, to learn, to smile, to no longer be unwanted.)

Ian's 25 Heroes of Hope are truly working magic. It reminds me so much of this anonymous poem that 1 first encountered when I was 14 years old and living in a tent in Barstow, California while a member of the 1986 Great Peace March for Global Nuclear Disarmament. I posted this poem in camp:


Drop A Pebble In The Water ~ Poet: James W. Foley


Drop a pebble in the water: just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water: in a minute you forget,
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,
And those little waves a-flowing to a great big wave have grown;
You've disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the center as they go,
And there is no way to stop them, once you've started them to flow.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute you forget;
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,
And perhaps in some sad heart a mighty wave of tears you've stirred,
And disturbed a life was happy ere you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: just a flash and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing, dashing wave
Till you wouldn't believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: in a minute you forget;
But there's gladness still a-swelling, and there's joy a-circling yet,
And you've rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard
Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.

The ripples of my call for help in funding Ian's chance at a better life are rolling out to sea, and I cannot wait for the weight of the Joy that's yet to be.

Donations are rolling in!

What an incredible day this has been! My friends are coming through for Ian, in true good person/humanitarian fashion! I think I ought to start a little poll! I think my Minnesota friends and family will donate the most, followed by Atlanta, then Racine. You can enter your vote too in the comments section. Minnesota has a ton of good folks doing great things, and I am happy to be a U of M graduate - The School of Medicine Dr. Wagner and Dr. Tolar are doing incredible work/research for children right there on Harvard Street!

God walks before me...things are moving!

Today I've begun to learn the language that my new adoptive child has heard since he was born.

It's a doo-zee (sp?) to say the least, but I am starting to remember the last time I was immersed in this exact language and truly, some of it is coming back to me. I'm streaming music from radio stations in his country, and thinking about a global/international theme for the boys' new bedroom.

Yesterday, the packet from his placement agency came too! exciting!!

Today I plan to complete the self-study part of the homestudy and contact my social worker to ask some questions and set up our next appointment - at our house!!