Day 2 - Something Beautiful

Ari loves music, and he has started to learn the songs we listen to in the car as well. We listen to the FISH 104.7 in Atlanta, Christian Pop station.

Needtobreathe is one of my other favorite Christian bands. The song Something Beautiful has meant alot to me during this adoption trek. Ari loves this song too, and he requests it by name. This is today’s song, to guide us through our reunion with Ian, and, our first real chance to interact somewhat freely with the other children in his groupa.

It was indeed, something incredibly beautiful and I’m really happy to share it with you.

(Lyrics from Something Beautiful, Needtobreathe)

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire
'Cause I just want
Something beautiful to touch me
I know that I'm that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees
And waiting for
Something beautiful

Whups!

I almost forgot! (I know Nina Clark, how could I almost forget this!) Our ticket to Ian today began with an EIGHT doctor medical exam. Awesome. So, we left at 7:15 am, with strict orders not to eat or drink anything but water. We arrived to the “clinic” at about 8:00 am, it seemed a ways from our hotel.

In order that I do not have to re-invent the wheel LOL, here is a link to a VERY detailed blow-by-blow of what happened to us the 4.5 hours we were there. Katrina Nine, fellow Reece’s Rainbow mom, who adopted Vahnya now home three months, wrote this post last February when she was going through the exact same thing. Of course, I have to add my own spice so I can recall years from now, all the strangeness that is an EIGHT doctor adoptive parent medical exam!

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Pulmonologist – “Have you ever had a cough?” – um, yes, lots, I mean when I have a cold or when I swallow something wrong, or when I am laughing so hard whatever I was drinking at the time gets all dribbled out of my mouth, or when the smog is really bad....

Infectionologist – “Do you have a disease?” – No. “Are you sure?” – Yes, I mean the last time I checked, or they checked, I didn’t.

Blood Draw Tech – I am not squeamish so I watched her collect SIX mega vials of my blood. I was starting to get worried that she was going to keep sticking those bog ole’ vials onto the syringe to fill up! I started to wonder if there is some legal safe limit of blood to be taken in one sitting! LOL – I should not have been wondering this as PRIOR to all of the exams, we were expressly told that they WERE for SURE going to DEPART from international medical exam standards! What? What does that even mean? Now I’m thinking it started by collecting over the standard amount of blood. Before leaving, you had to have the spot your blood was taken from “field wrapped,” meaning the guaze looked like it was from WWII and it was wrapped so tight you could not bend your arm! Everytime Nina or I then tried to loosen or to remove the dressing, we got scolded that it had not been long enough and not to fuss with it or we will get a bruise. A bruise? but my whole arm is numb and I’m starting to loose the feeling in my fingers!

Chest X-Ray – Gretchen, get in here! Push, shove, hold that, done. WOW, felt like a chicken that was being strangely abused. No joke.

EKG – EWE!!! I thought to myself as the technician put some sort of liquid on me using a brush that looked like it was black from mold; Please do not electrocute me! I thought to myself as she took metal CLAMPS, similar to the ones we Americans use for jumper cables, and clamped them to my ankles and wrists right on that mystery damp area; Suction cups hooked up to think wires was next, and I think I might now have a permanent aversion to suction cups – awesome.

Innards Doctor – “Do you have any tumors?” – I don’t think so?! “Are you certain?” – Yeah, but you’re scaring me, do you feel any tumors? Is this a trick question?

Physcaitrist – “Do you smoke?” – No “Why not?” – sorry? “Have you ever smoked a cigarette” – Yes, tried a few as a teen and in college but it never took, couldn’t stand the smoke, grosses me out, causes cancer, etc... “So you don’t smoke?” – OMG.

Dermatologist – “Hello, have you ever been followed by a Dermatologist” – I don’t think so, but that would be creepy if I were, are Dermatologists more prone to follow people? Is there a stalker case here where the stalker was a Dermatologist? Why is she asking me this – oh, oh, you mean have I ever been to a Dermatologists office for a medical reason! Oh okay - No.

To end the description of the required medical, when we pulled up to the clinic, written in purple spray paint on the side of the building was this “PSYCHIATRIC EXECUTION.”

I am so happy they did not keep us there.

The exam was only $1,200.00 which for all of that fun, I think it is a small price to pay for a lifetime memory!

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Now, on to the good stuff! Our reunion with Ian. We got to have a bout an hour break in between the medical and leaving to see Ian. I used the time for a light lunch with Craig, and then packed up all of the caregiver gift bags and the clothing donations for the orphanage. I meant to take a picture of the gift bags but I forgot. It is something very difficult to know what to buy for the women who have cared for your child in your stead for a year while you have been working to complete his adoption. I looked on the internet and not much was offered as ideas. So, here is a list of what I put together for them.

- A thank you letter written in Russian on one side and English on the other

- A two or three piece matching jewelry set

- A picture book of Atlanta

- A compact pack away bag to throw in ones purse and to be used for going to the market on the way home from the orphanage perhaps

- A disposable camera with a label on it asking her to take pictures of Ian and his groupa and his activities between now and the time I return for him, as a way to document his the life he is about to leave behind forever.

The orphanage director, social director, and doctor, all got swanky handbags and a picture book and a camera. The director of Ian’s orphanage looks about my age, maybe a touch older, and she is really nice. When I met her yesterday, after our visit, and we hugged, she asked me why I was soaking wet!

And the water is rising quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side
No I can't leave your side

All I could say was – it was Vasya! (Ian)

That child can run! and of course, as his new parents, we had to chase him! Note to self: if called to adopt again, consider baby who is captive audience!

We arrived at Ian’s summer camp at about 4:30 in the afternoon local time. It was a long ride out of the city but very interesting, we saw individual homes for the first time, versus apartment buildings. Right near Ian’s orphanage, are million dollar Russian summer homes, quite the juxtaposition again.

Ian’s orphanage has some land with a camp that is their own. It is only for their use and they go there for three months every summer. It is truly a camping experience, minus the tents. There are six or seven individual oblong buildings which serve to house each groupa and the staff. The staff are welcome to bring their own families, so you can plainly see some children there that are not orphans.

Most of the buildings are simple and one needs to be torn down, they do not use that one, it looks like an abandoned farm barn that I would see back in my home state of Wisconsin deep into the countryside.

It had rained mercilessly as we drove to the camp so everything was sandy and wet, muddy in some places.

When we arrived, the social director came out and showed us to Ian’s groupa building. We opened the door and there he was! along with all of the children in his groupa.

They mauled us, totally, with three or four of the boys and one of the girls literally climbing up onto us and hugging, holding on tight, calling us mama and papa. The caregivers had to help peel those kids off of us so we could get to Ian.

He seemed to know us! He went right for Craig as he entered first, right into his arms. Not a hug so much as an investigation once again of this strange creature called a papa with dark skin! It was touching nonetheless.

Since I was lugging gifts and behind Craig as we entered, I was able to quickly scan the small groupa for two children of interest to us, Angelina and Heidi, both listed on Reece’s Rainbow. Angelina has a family from Minnesota coming for her, and Heidi has a family that is working hard to do the same. I had tried hard to get a glimpse of these girls last April when we were here, for their parents. I was not able to see them then, so to have them right in front of me was amazing.

Angelina in fact was the little girl who climbed me for and gave me a monster hug! She is cute and very busy! By both caregiver report and observation, this kid loves to eat! They use food to control her behavior which of course cannot continue when she gets home to her family but to watch it in action, was funny. She would not come in from outside so they promised her a bowl of soup and bam, she was on her way back to the groupa building.

It looks to me like the kids have more freedom to run around here at the camp, everything seems more laid back, although the caregivers are still not trusting of us and still not wanting us to interact with the other children. I tried to hug them all anyway! It is a small groupa, maybe 10 kids total, and they are small kids, but the need is so great for them – for affection and love – that they overwhelm you.

I recognized the little boys that had climbed on Craig when we where at the orphanage in Arpil, they again went to him to pet his face and call him papa. Little Heidi was the meekest of the group, she is the smallest girl and stayed close to the caregivers, all the while looking on with great curiosity and smiling at me, melting my heart for sure.

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We had about 2 hours with Ian. It felt like six that passed by in less than one.

We got to play with him both outside and in the large room where they do everything there, eat, dance, read, play. We were alone there for about an hour, with our facilitator.

Oh boy! He has grown taller! He looked really good! Better than when we saw him last! I was a happy, happy mama!

He took to us better, showed affection faster, and he played WITH us, which was not the case the first meeting. Yes, we had to parent, he tried to rip the curtains down, tip over all the toys (which he was successful at first because we were not yet matching his speed and agility!), and not behave in general. He got it though and after a few little fits of yelling and fist pounding, we were good to go.

He did my hair. He pet me, and hugged my face. His laugh is crazy infectious and we had not heard that kind of true belly laugh from him before.

We played for a long time with a wooden baby crib. He would take out the bedding, fold it up meticulously, transfer it to the floor, prepare a mat, and lie down and pretend to go to sleep on it! He did this several times.

The kids are regimented and they do most things independently. He makes his own bed, better than I do even, at just 5 years old. Ari might try to straighten his comforter, if I even remember to have him do it LOL. Ian is making his bed military precision. Watching him do this finally brought forth the tears for me. It was cute but it was so, so sad too. Yes, its awesome that he can make his own bed, but the reason why he can do this is not a happy one. These little kids are alone within their little selves.

They do get some touch, but it is woefully short of what a child needs to develop in a normal way. Ian is still not used to touch that mean for him, he is never held or rocked or hugged for more than a moment and he tenses up and he does not know what to do, most of the time.

This little one in the groupa was always trying to get someone to pick him or, to hold him, to pay attention, to love on him.

Some of the time, in that rare space of a few seconds, that is becoming more often which is very exciting, Ian gets it and he relaxes his boys and falls into your arms. It is fleeting but so, so right.

This little boy of ours is going to make it.

We will make sure of that.

We will do whatever it takes to help him come out from behind the incredibly painful wall that living like he has, by default, creates for him. He is resilient. The children with Down Syndrome here are ALL resilient. They have a smile and a joy and a sort of insulation from the absolute truth of their own circumstances that makes it almost easier to take them home versus a typical child who KNOWS.

The light in many of the eyes of the kids with other special needs that do not impact personality or intellect, is fading or already gone. Unbearable and heartbreaking, but not without recourse.

If you have ever considered adoption, I beg you to prayerfully hear from God if now might be the time.

The need is enormous, and for 99 percent of the kids in Ian’s orphanage, no one is EVER coming for them. There are about 70 children here, and in 2010, only THREE were saved.

This year thankfully, THREE are already on their way out, and one, Anya from Ian’s groupa, has been home for several months now. In fact her mother Heather arranged for me to bring pictures of her new life to the orphanage and they were so thrilled to receive them.

It all seems kind of not so bad sometimes as you look at the camp, the fresh air, the Bay of Finland across the road where the kids swim....you have to remember that all is not well.

Ian again hoarded the food we brought for him, he devoured it so fast we thought for sure he would choke on it and vomit. It was less than a half of a banana. When we went outside, he immediately tried to suck the rain drops off the rusted metal and wooden play structures. He was very thirsty, again. Hard to watch. It took all my strength to keep him from sucking the water logged wood. At home, you just grab a juice or some water. There, it is not time for something to drink, they all eat and drink and sleep on a schedule. Did I mention the need was great here?

They kids had to be peeled away from our person, babies, three and four and five year olds. Thirsty babies, for love, for touch, for anything of their own, for a mama, a papa.....for a chance to live. Most here are going to the institution in a couple of years. Most will slowly die there. The kids with Down Syndrome will likely die within two years of transfer. SICK. The little boy staring at the camera here, he is one that KNOWS what is happening to him. Do you see little Heidi, in the pink? She is wasting away in this place, watching the same TV programs over and over and over and over again to pacify her into submission. Poor sweet baby girl.

Praise God, Ian will not.

He is coming home! Very soon.

We have court on Thursday and then we leave a few hours later for home to make the final preparations to bring Ian into our lives on a permanent and live and in person basis.

We are excited! Happy! Blessed!

....and short about $7,000.00 if we do not get the grant we are waiting to hear about on July 27^th. It is a lot of money for a family that is so weary of begging for money to save him.

It is nothing for our God, and he will provide it, as long as we keep opening the doors for others to be the hands and feet.

Please share our blog, Ians FSP page at Reece’s Rainbow, and our need. We cannot say thank you enough for most who are reading this now, have given and given to save Ian. The time is now to have conversations with people you know that may not have given to an orphan this year. Sit with someone, talk to them about your heart for Ian, and ask them if they want to help. Spreading the word is the main way we receive donations to defray the near $50,000.00 price tag of Ian’s adoption. Let’s face it, three trips to Russia in 5 months comes at a hefty price tag.

Please pray for court tomorrow (I am a day behind on my blog posts). Please pray for me coming back for Ian alone, as the timing is not going to work for Nina and I to come back together.

Please pray for those babies we are leaving behind again and next time, forever. I will never have peace of mind about them, ever. Their faces are etched now and they will remain in my mind till the last of my days, and this I know to be true.

Something beautiful is happening for us and for Ian, it is our own little miracle.

God bless!

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire
'Cause I just want
Something beautiful to touch me
I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees
And waiting for
Something beautiful