For-going the chaos for some comic relief!

The last month has been

well

a great deal for all of us

and the coming months

although they will be filled with joys untold

we didn't fall of the cabbage truck (as my great-grandmother used to say), yesterday

we know we are headed for what could be some tough times all around

so

this post is nothing but

FUN

*****************

************

Ari fun

...Ari goes to hippotherapy each week on Wednesday's at a beautiful horse park in the city. His therapist Brent is INCREDIBLE! awesome beyond words, and has the patience of a saint!

still, our little Ari can take ya there! not in a bad way, he's just, well - he NEVER stops talking and he says "huh" about 1,000 times an hour lately, and...he ask why after every single thing you or he says - LOL.

So, Brent has assigned one of the volunteer leads (the young girls that lead the horse by a rope as the therapy sessions go on) to be the "Ari answer person!" Haahahahahaha! Very funny! Today, that lead young lady literally ran away when the session was over! LOL, I think Ari must have asked her a record number of questions. He is persistent and you cannot give fake answers because he tests your logic like a CIA interrogator!

WE LOVE THIS KID!!!! and so do they, it's just the funnies that make him him.

*******************************

Mommy fun

......I think it is kind of funny actually that I have not totally lost it yet! This international adoption "stuff" is h-e-a-v-y, in so many ways, it blows your mind. Eyes opened to the orphan crisis about does you in too....so heavy.

here is something cute I saw on a blog that I wanted to do:

A - Age - I am the big 40! and I'm not going to lie, I kind of feel 40.

B - Bed Size - King, and if there were any bigger and I had a bigger master bedroom, I'd go for an even bigger bed.

C - Chore you hate - I actually love to clean. A fresh, sparking house makes me feel great. I do however very much dislike doing the baseboards and under the stove. I truly do not know how all that grossness gets under my stove!

D - Dog - I love dogs, cannot stand cats (I am deathly allergic to them). I had 4 dogs as a child: Cotton, Muffy, Lucky, and Baraboo (who we called Bootsie). I SO BADLY want to get the boys a dog after Ian is home but, that is going to be a battle that I just may never win! Daddy is set against it and I don't blame him. He thinks he will end up having to walk "it" on cold mornings and, well, with two 5 year old boys and a mama that does not like mornings - he's probably right!

E - Essential start to your day - A big fat kiss from Ari (and soon Ian), and regrettably, a grande iced coffee with a shot of espresso and one pump of sugar free cinnamon dolce from Starbucks. Let's just say, I have a real Gold Starbucks card that has my actual name printed on it...such a shame. I do dream about kicking the caffeine...someday:)

F - favorite color - Orange

G - Gold or Silver - Silver, resoundingly

H - Height - 5' 7 and a half

I - Instrument you play - my brain? does that count? LOL I took the following in school: The OBOE (was forced to quit by my mother who could not afford to keep replacing the reeds because I would rather chew on them than play), The VIOLIN (never practiced), The PIANO (a passing fancy, although I can still play Mary had a little lamb and read a tiny bit of simple music), The COMPUTER - I have written an entire album worth of music that I composed myself on my computer using ProTools and a midi controller. My Pop Star name is "Areal" and my album is called "utopic."

J - Job Title - Program Specialist/Lead Teacher for Special Education

K - Kids - Ari Marley and soon...Ian Will

L - Live in - Georgia. My hometown is Racine, Wisconsin

M - Mothers name - starts with a C

N - nicknames - mom, G, hey, pumpkin

O - Overnight Hospital Stays - hmmmm, several: had pneumonia once; hard pregnancy; childbirth, and H1N1.

P - Pet Peeve - other people telling me to calm down

Q - Quote from a movie - any lines from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy or The Fifth Element

R - Right or left handed - Right

S - Siblings - none

T - Time you wake up - when I am dragged out by Craig or when my son starts pulling my covers off...it's not pretty - at all!

U - Umbrella?? Keep several in the car but none in my purse, which means when it rains then I have to run to the car while it is raining and get an umbrella - hmmm, might need to rethink this one...

V -Vegetables you dislike - Lima Beans - yuk! double yuk! oh and black eyes peas - triple yuk!

W - What makes you run late - just about everything

X - X- rays you've had - oh geez, I dunno, a few, chest for sure and several MRIs

Y - Yummy foods you make - A dish called "moosho chicken" everyone raves, really they do

Z - Zoo - Tigers

*******************************

Daddy fun

is

simple

S - L - E - E - P!

Thanks for having some fun with us today!

This week is actually filled with some really FUN stuff!

I am going to have the great pleasure and honor to photograph the homecoming of Eliisa Vika Koening as she and mama Corrie arrive back from the Ukraine this Friday

I may be in for some fun cooking or playing with the Ferrone children too, as mama looks after new little treasures from the Ukraine that need some special care

I am going to have SO MUCH fun this Saturday, when folks come out to our local mall to shop until they drop for the 70 plus orphans at Ian's orphanage - we are going to fill the van with clothes for these kids!

and

most of all

I am going to have FUN

packing our bags to get ready to go and see

HIM

U Can't touch this!

Back in what is now a long long time ago and almost a galaxy far far away

lived...

the 1990's!

I lived there

lots of people did LOL!

(me and girlfriends in the 1990's)

one of the biggest hits of the 1990s was a song called U can't touch This, by MC Hammer

(u know, rapper turned minister!)

well, tonight I am reliving the 90s, for a very important reason

****************************************

Yesterday, about 3:00 in the afternoon, I got an email from our adoption agency. The news was not good. Not good for us, not good for Ian, just not good. In fact, I allowed myself to become so upset that I had dismiss myself from the dinner table as to not let my mouth blurt out things that I would regret saying later. Torrential rain hit our area about that same moment when I waked out on dinner.

In a nutshell, the timing that I think/thought is/was best, and that I thought was pretty much set in stone (as I have been told for the last year now), was disrupted and delayed in such a manner to change - everything **insert me crying here**

We were supposed to be able to go back (well, I was as I am going back alone), to get Ian 10 days after court. There is a mandatory 10 day wait. That would have put me back in Ian's country on July 25th and we would have been back in Georgia, home, around August 5th, or sooner. The timing was PERFECT!

I am not a stay at home mother. I work, full time. I have to. There are no other options at this time. I am off from work because I work in education, for two months in the summer. I report back to work this year on July 28th. Before the upsetting news of a delay in being able to travel back for Ian, we planned for me to take 28 days of FMLA unpaid leave to cover my being gone and transitioning Ian into our home, medical appointments, and getting him ready for school. I am entitled to 12 weeks per year, however I cannot take 12 weeks of unpaid leave, we just cannot absorb that loss of my income and, if I am out more than 28 days, I have to start paying COBRA for our health insurance and other benefits and that cost alone is over $1,200.00 per month.

So, the plan was to get Ian home by August 5th so that I would only have to take a couple weeks of leave (because most of my travel would have been done while I was still off for summer break). In addition, and here is where my heart is breaking so hard I can't hardly think about it, my sweet boy Ari starts a brand new school on August 8th. I NEED to be here for that first day AND the first weeks of school. Ari has autism. This is a GIANT change for him. ALL NEW PEOPLE, no one he knows, nothing he is familiar with, AND, a new brother sleeping in his room. His new school is also very special and so I need to be able to plan and meet and talk and observe and all that goes along with having a child with special needs in an inclusive setting. We made this change for some very specific reasons and I need to be there to assure what is supposed to be happening for Ari is happening. He needs his mommy during this time and to think that now I will not be there, it is UNBEARABLE BEYOND WORDS - he is only 4 years old and he DOES NOT understand a lot about what is happening, and trying to communicate it to him is something that is just not going to happen - until Ian sets foot in the house, and until he walks through the door of his new school.

When you choose to adopt, you do not do it by sending the children already in your home out as the sacrificial lambs. We have been so very careful with this adoption, and at every turn we have tried to do everything we could to assure that Ari would weather it okay. We got criticized for taking Ari to meet Ian that first trip, because of the extra money. Money aside, we HAD to see how the boys would be together, we had to see for Ari's well being AND for Ian's. It had to be done and let me tell you, Ari rocked! He loved the trip, he KNOWS who Ian is now!

Still, me being gone when so much is changing for Ari IS NOT part of our well planned plan, and it feels like I am sacrificing my Ari for my Ian, and I am not okay right now. I don't know what to do, I am still taking it all in. Craig cannot take any leave from work. He cannot go get Ian, it has to be me. There is no one else who can go for Ian and no one else who can do for Ari what needs to be done. It is a problem that I know I can solve, but right now, I feel something in my heart for both of my boys that is making the thought of how to even fix this, a burden of great measure for me.

****************************************

Especially because then this evening, right after another downpour of rain and high winds, yet another shocking email arrived in my adoption email inbox.......

our adoption fees for THIS TRIP have increased a great deal more than we were prepared for or that we have on hand. When you have to fund raise for a year to save the life of an innocent, beautiful baby boy who will perish if you do not rescue him, when you have been told point blank that YOU are his only hope, asking people for help takes on a whole different tone. It has taken us a solid year to raise $25,000.00, and we have done that by nothing but the grace of God and the hundreds of people who gave and some, who give and give and give and give.

We thought we were about there

With the news of the increased fees today and now the 2 more weeks of unpaid leave that will have to be taken, the $6,000 we had left to raise goes back up to $9,000.00. We need to raise another $2,000 NOW because we need it in cash to hand over to the powers that be in "R" (Ian's country) when we land on July 10th. Then, we need to raise up the remaining $7,000.00 in just 15 days.

Are we exhausted? YES

Are we out of fund raisers? YES

Are we out of money? YES

Am I feeling bad? YES

Am I going to let the bad win? HECK NAW!

Here is a little note to the forces of BAD that are trying to get me to QUIT, to TALK UGLY about people, to be BITTER, to be ANGRY, to lay in my bed and SOB all day, to GIVE UP....

U CAN'T TOUCH THIS!

because

HE MADE ME STRONG

HE MADE ME POWERFUL, and he gave me the ability to CONTROL MY THOUGHTS and my WORDS

HIS MESSAGE IS LOVE, PEACE, and HOPE, and FAITH

****************************************

THIS BOY IS LOVE

(our sweet Ari)

THIS BOY IS HOPE

(Our sweet Ian)

OUR FAMILY HAS FAITH

That in our hour of need, he will not forsake us

and truly

he never has

giving us NOTHING to fear

****************************************

Today was the most BEAUTIFUL day in Atlanta! The stifling heat was gone and in it's place a lovely warm but not hot breeze skipped through the leaves on the trees. The birds sang, the sky was blue with a few well placed swirly clouds above.

Ari and I went to Aquatic Therapy

and then to shop for....

THE OVER 60 LITTLE ONES in Ian's ORPHANAGE that have NO ONE coming for them.

break. my. heart.

BTW, this little one is waiting near Ian, and her name is CARLENE.

She is a friend of God. Want to get closer to him?

Maybe you might ask him if Carlene can be yours.

****************************************

Next Saturday we are having a shopping event at our local Mall, the Mall of Georgia. We have invited our friends and supporters to join us in shopping for the children at the orphanage. They need clothing, socks, and pj's. We will bring ALL that we can.

At the end of the day, I laid out everything we had found. Ian's clothes were beat up, well, well worn, everything he had on had holes in it, including his socks. The orphanage has asked for short and long sleeve shirts for boys and girls, socks, underwear, and pajamas. I found some real treasures for not a lot of money, nothing pictured was over $5.00 and most was $2 or $3.00. See those IZOD dress long sleeve shirts and tie combo's? $3.23! Yep! Sticker price: 25 bucks!

Buying clothes for the children that stood behind the gates and cried as we left there last April was an honor and an experience for me and Ari that nothing, not even the bad news of the last couple of days - CAN EVER TOUCH! These kids have touched us in ways only those who have been in an orphanage can relate to. You just have to be there, to physically feel your heart fall out onto the ground and break into tiny pieces as they rush to you, beg to be held, cry, call you mama or papa...and then you have to peel them off of you, or worse, just stare at them as the curt caregivers yell commands to them to not touch or approach you. It is surreal. You collect the pieces of your meek little heart and go to the other side of the gate, get into a car, and drive off.

THEY NEVER LEAVE YOU, not for one day, do you ever NOT think about those you are forced to leave behind. All I can do is hope that the things we can bring for them will help to keep them warm and comfy, and maybe even make some of them feel good in some new clothes to wear.

U CAN'T TOUCH the experience and the challenge and the journey and the miracle that is adoption, you simply cannot touch it with a 10 foot or any other type of pole. It is something I will NEVER regret having been called to. Yes, it ROCKS you to your CORE, but that is a GOOD THING because you know that you are alive and you NEVER live your life the same ways you did before.

****************************************

Please pray for sweet Ian, he has lasted this long under tough circumstances, I almost die daily thinking about all that sweet baby boy has missed in terms of lovin' care and just being a kid....it kills me to look at Ari and think of him in Ian's shoes.

Please PRAY for and HOLD CLOSE the ones left behind

Their chances of escape are less than slim, you know looking at them that the majority will not live past the next few years. Please PRAY for the final steps of our families journey to bring hope home. It is not going to be easy, for any of us. We need your prayers and your love.

Thank you for standing with us

God bless

OH BOY!

It's here!!!!!!

It's time!!!!!

IN TWO WEEKS and 5 DAYS

We will be back in Ian's country!!!

Stand before the Judge on July 14, 2011

and beg for his freedom to come and live with us thousands of miles away

he was born in our hearts when we first accepted Christ as our savior

and his face was revealed to us EXACTLY ONE YEAR from the day that we will board our plane to travel back to him

It will have been THREE months and some days since we last saw our boy

NERVOUS would be an understatement! Will he remember us? Is he "okay?"

We have enough funds at Reece's Rainbow today to book all of our travel and pay the adoption fees this trip!

and that is it, this trip will empty our account at Reece's Rainbow once again, and we will start from ZERO

*********************

We need to raise $7,000.00 in the space of 35 days, many of those are days we will be traveling, be overseas, be preparing for travel, and most of all, getting the last pieces in place for the permanent arrival of Ian to our home and his new life!

We don't have any great give-a-ways to offer, no neat stuff to sell, not even a buck fifty to offer....

but

WE DO HAVE

the same FAITH that when we saw this beautiful boy we could not leave him to perish in an institution, even when we didn't have nearly $50,000 for an adoption

the same FAITH that has sustained and that guides in providing for this wonderful, soon to be, big brother!

WE HAVE FAITH

that Ian's journey to home will be well worth every single penny anyone gives to help us rescue him

FAITH, that God's army will rise up AGAIN this summer, like they have OVER and OVER again to fund Ian's FSP at Reece's Rainbow until it reads

$25,000.00

and now, for some humor - HOLY COW I GOTTA RUN! I HAVE TONS TO DO!!!! YIPPIE! We are going to see Ian!