Day 3 of 14: Ian eats out!

Sometimes, pictures speak a thousand words!

Ian was so tired last night, and likely mentally spent from his world just opening wide like it did, that he fell asleep sitting up LOL! He slept all night, minus the tossing and turning and sitting up in bed half asleep trying to ascertain just exactly where he was and what strange bed he was in!

Ian is a voracious thumb sucker and it was actually so loud that I found it hard to sleep, and it even woke me several times. Hmmm, gonna have to work on that after we get home, his poor little thumb is almost raw from sucking it so much. His mouth is likewise malformed because of it too, I notice its not aligned right and since I just went to the dentist for my other son Ari, who sucks on his hands from time to time, I feel like Ian has what the dentist told me Ari would have if he didn't stop sucking his hands. The thumb sucking is not your normal thumb sucking either, he rather keeps his mouth open so he dried his mouth out and then starts gagging for saliva I guess. I'm not gonna lie, it is disturbing to me.

Ian rocks too, back and forth if you let him. I don't. I've only seen it at night so far and maybe this is how he has put himself to sleep with 11 other kids in his bedroom at night. Poor baby, it's heartbreaking to watch some of the behaviors that you just know have come from his past.

Ian began to stir at about 7:30 this morning and then once he was fully awake I pulled him over into my bed with me and we did some morning snuggles. He wasn't into that too much but he did stay put next to me. Its so super sad about the deficits these kids have with getting and receiving affection. It's SO unnatural and its hard for me to process every time I go to touch him and he's not sure what to do, or what I'm doing. He's getting the hang of it but for most of the time, he is not able to do hugs or kisses or even be picked up. I was talking to Craig last night explaining that Ian doesn't know what to do when he is picked up. He just gets stiff as a board and tries to free himself. He has no idea that you are to wrap your legs around and hold on for the ride. I had to show him that and it blew my mind, it is so not what I am used to in a child either, our Ari is snuggle bug for real, he loves affection and cannot get enough of it and he loves to be picked up.

So, you'll not believe this (unless your name is Heather, Katrina, or Nina) I'm not with Ian right now! He's back at the hotel with two brave young girls, Anastasia and Victoria. They are his very first babysitters! It is mandatory here that when you go to some required appointments around town that you have childcare arranged for the children, they cannot come into many of the offices here and sit for hours in lines. I will be gone most of the day, so this ought to be interesting!?....as I left he had reverted back to wild man Ian, the out of control Ian that we met the first trip. He was yelling and being naughty. When they walked in he was even a bit afraid, I thought he was going to cry. He obviously was not cool with it, but the girls are good and they had him laughing when I closed the door. They have strict orders not to leave the hotel and order lunch in the room. Good luck girls!

So, how does one find a babysitter in Russia? One name - BORIS! Yep, He's a jack of all trades and the two young ladies he helped me to hire for this day, and again on Friday when we go pick up Ian's passport, they could not be more perfect for Ian. I phoned the room several times to check on them and they girls reported that Ian ate a big lunch of meat and potatoes! He actually ate more with them then he did for me! I guess they know what Russian kids want to eat!

So, our facilitator E and I took care of our to do list all over the city today. We had lunch at really calming Sushi house ten steps from her apartment. I had the best non-alcoholic Mojito I ever had too, and the cherry dumplings for dessert were awesome. Craig let me take his new camera with me so I would not be lugging our pro camera and I took my first panoramic shot from the steps of the sushi place. Tomorrow I have a two part post coming up, our day as usual, but a special post about our facilitator E. It will seriously make you cry, I know I have been crying for her since we started getting real with one another at the Passport office while "taking" line.







After I got back to the hotel from lunch, Ian was playing in the babysitters shoes, walking all around in heels! Good lord this boy is a card! The girls left, and Ian and I went down for a nap. BEST advice I ever got from my mother when I had Ari: sleep when your baby sleeps! I did not take her advice the last time I had a new baby in my midst, and I regretted it. Today was proof that you can teach and old pony new tricks. He and I slept - for three hours!

We woke, and since the girls let me know that he ate really well of meat and potatoes, I thought we would try our hand at a restaurant where I knew I could get him a kids plate of happy face potatoes and mini hot dogs (knew that because that was the plate Ari enjoyed at the same restaurant when we were here for Trip #1). That's right people, once again I dared the powers that be and left our quarters, this time for dinner in a public place. Any takers on how it went?

Sometimes, pictures speak a thousand words!





















Do you see anything notable in our dinner pictures? Nope, neither do I, and that my friends IS the notable part! Ian has never ever eaten in a restaurant, ever. He was like ANY OTHER KID in there! In fact, there was another 5 something little boy there and he was acting out, screaming, hitting the table, etc....while our boy was as cool as a cucumber.

Like I said yesterday, AMAZING. He wanted to sit in the big boy chair, alone. HE PICKED OUT HIS OWN PLATE OF FOOD from the picture choices. They brought markers and paper, and he drew. The food was taking a while, so he put his head on the table and comforted himself without a peep. He asked for water intermittently, and when the not so bright waiter brought out my food before his (clearly he has no young children), he weathered that storm WELL! He actually turned to the kitchen entrance where he watched them bringing out the food from, pointed to it, and then to himself. He was asking, in the only way he can right now, "...and where is my food?"

Awe man, I can't even begin to express to you how humbling and how EASY taking care of him is.







Ian makes up his own fun games too! I am all too happy to play along. After dinner, and because it has turned lovely here, sunny and warm, no rain at all - we went for a long, slow walk around this very big block. I had intended for us to hit the playground again, but since they were burning a massive pile of what must have been toxic materials in the back lot near the playground, and the white smoke was choking us, I thought not.

Ian has this little bottle of water that I keep refilling for him. He knowns it belongs to him. While we were walking, he began to take it out of the holder on the stroller, carry it a few paces, and then place it on the ground and look up and smile and laugh. I think he thinks water, in a bottle, is hilarious! he often stares at it, shakes it, and examines it.















Dear Amy and Matt, yes, those are the shoes you sent me for Heidi. I
CAN explain! You see, we grossly, and I mean really embarrassingly, sized Ian's feet wrong last time we saw him. Me, being uber prepared, bought and brought THREE sizes of shoes for him, sure that one would fit. None fit, not a one, all way to big for him. So, in the midst of the crazy snatch and grab that was Gotcha Day, E suggested I take those shoes you sent, and have Ian wear them. I was totally horrified! First, they were meant for Little One and second, they were GIRLS shoes! Poor Ian, he can't even escape girls stuff with his long awaited forever family, I felt so totally lame! I SO did not want to do it but I had no choice, the kids are stripped of everything, and if you don't have it for them well, you are SO out of luck. I'm so sorry!

Here's the saving grace about the shoes though. IAN loves the red light up stars on the front and in he car ride from H---, those shoes saved us all, multiple times! They are still working their light up girl shoe magic and make for a great redirect when things get hairy outside and I need to reel him back in! of course, all of the other shoes I brought promptly replaced this pair and so the groupa got a good deal. Yeesh!







Happy boy.







...yes it's an infant tub (don't judge, its all they had and he fits so I'm going with it!). He loves bath but the focus is all about washing and none about playing. I gave him a bath toy today, rubber ducky, and he proceeded to try and use it to scrub himself. I knew this was going to happen, they are so regimented at the orphanage, and likely just sprayed down. They have been trained to meticulously wash themselves, heck he does a better job than I do on myself.

Here's another one of him:







Whups!, thats NOT our IAN, it's our ARI! they so look like brothers to me:)








Step 1: find feet under deluge of bubbles







Step 2: scrub with mommies scrunchie because the hotel keeps removing our wash clothes and not returning them and when I ask for more they only bring more and more scrunchies







Step 3: examine a job well done, checking for any missed spots







Step 4 - 400: repeat same for ENTIRE body and especially the bum. He's got to be the cleanest former orphan this side of the Atlantic.







A bath time like that would tire even the most resolute 5 year old OUT.

Tonight, while I was watching him fall asleep, he began to rock.

I immediately went over and knelt by his bed, laid my head down, began to sing Amazing Grace and rub his head. WHAT I WOULD NOT PAY to have known what was going on in his brain at that moment. He soaked it all up but too, he did the most wonderful thing to me that I have never experienced in my entire life!

We had faces close as I sang and he sucked that dag gone thumb. He was looking at me intently and then, he reached out and with the most exacting and light as a feather touch, he touched my EYE LASHES! back and forth he played with my eyelashes, both top and bottom! He never once poked my eye and had the steadiest hand, and all of this occurred in a mostly dark room! I really have no words to describe the feelings I was having when this was going on. I of course started to cry and his pillow was then stained with my mascara laden tear drops.

The one thing I always knew about coming here alone was that it would be our time to bond. When a little child PETS your eyelashes at night and smiles so big at you like he did...I feel like tonight he understood that I am his mama and that I am never going to leave him.

...and I never will.

Location:13-я линия,St Petersburg,Russia