Meeting Ian

Monday, April 4, 2011

9:20 AM somewhere in Eastern Europe!

We had a rough night. The jet lag took full effect on our little guy Ari (who has/is/and continues to do AWESOME!) and so he was in and out of sleep all night. Needless to say, that made it a restless night for us all, as he also refused to sleep in the pack and play the hotel had set up for him. Maybe tonight J

We woke up an hour late this morning, so that was not good, made for stressed out mommy. None of us had had showers for more than 30 hours so we REALLY needed to get clean before leaving the hotel. Only problem, we could not figure out how to make the shower work! By the time someone came to instruct us not so smart Americans, Ari and I had already managed to get clean via just the water spout, which is about three feet high.

Once we were all clean, we rushed downstairs for breakfast at the hotel, complimentary and a little bit strange! The “grilled bacon” looked like raw bacon, and the eggs looked really undercooked too. So, we resorted to a continental snack with cheese, bread, and jelly.

First on our way to meet Ian, our facilitator picked us up and we went straight to the government office for our referral appointment. This office area is only for adoptions so everyone there was there to receive referrals. There was a couple from the US, and one from Italy, and several Russian couples. We waited nearly and hour, which was not usual as we were explained. The referral process was easy, a pretty young lady simply reads your name, looks at your passport, tells you about your child, shows you the database picture, you sign that you got the information, and then you get your referral paper. AHH – I felt a little like I won the Golden Ticket to get into Willy Wonka’s factory!

Craig, Ari and our Facilitator leaving the Ministry of Education

Next, we headed to the social workers office. Normally, this is where you get asked questions like, “why are you adopting and child with Down Syndrome, etc...” As luck would have it, we were so late due to the line at the Ministry of Education, that our facilitator worked some magic and we walked in, the social worker signed the paperwork we needed her to sign, and I never even saw her face. We were in and out in 3 min.

Social Workers Office

Then, we drove to the orphanage. Thanks to other families that have recently gone before us, I knew by the surrounding buildings before I saw the actual building, that we were close. Then, we pulled around the corner and I saw the green orphanage building, and then I began to really feel the nerves! We approached, and kids were playing outside. Lot’s of snow here but again, as our luck would have it, today was the first really warm (40-50 degrees) day they have had in months! We didn’t even really need our coats!

One child tried to run up to us as we walked in, but he was stopped verbally by a caregiver. He was so cute, he had a patch over one eye. You hear and see all of those babies playing and your heart just breaks and falls out onto the sidewalk. I don’t know how I am going to go on living the same way I did before Ian. I cannot know what I know anymore, see what I have seen and will see, and even after stepping out and adopting an orphan – to then turn a blind eye. I knew that this would change me, but the extent to which the plight of these children runs so deep in my heart and makes it ache with pain – bringing Ian home won’t be the end. I don’t know what that means right now, I just know that rescuing orphans is important beyond anything I have ever thought about pursuing.

We went inside and immediately, the smell hit me. I don’t know what kind of smell that was, but it was noticeable and odd. Not like a hospital smell though, just a - smell. Then, we put blue plastic shoe covers over our shoes and went inside. Well, all of us but Ari and Craig – The blue plastic shoe covers were too big for Ari’s feet and way to small for Craig’s! two pairs ripped before he even got them on. After entering, we went to the directors office and for the next half and hour or so, we listened to all of Ian’s social and medical history, we even learned his mothers name, and that his father’s name was let blank on the birth certificate. We heard a great deal of things that made me want to burst into tears, but I just continued to take copious notes and hold it inside.

The scariest thing we heard is that Ian is not necessarily well. He is showing signs that he made need heart surgery, for a second time. That was a big blow to us. He also has a few more things going on than we originally thought. Still, when we began this journey, we full well knew, and we full well expected that what we had been told about Ian might not be accurate nor all inclusive. So, while you accept it, to actually hear it and confirm it, that is another thing. The surprise wore off, but the concern now is that we get him home as soon as possible, so that we can get him the medical care and attention that he needs and deserves. We love him so much, that knowing this now, puts it all in a different light.

While we were talking, the orphanage director told us Ian was outside! That meant we walked right by him when we came in! I tried in vain to peer through the white lace curtains in the directors office, at the playground where the children were to see if I could pick him out. It was impossible to see out clearly, so we just had to wait.

Then, as we were getting some important background information on Ian, BAM – he walked right in!

OH MY GOODNESS!

He ran into the office, up to our facilitator, and then he went to a large potted plant, put his face almost right into the giant pot, picked up a stone from the dirt, and put it into his mouth! Once we kind of got his attention, and he noticed we were in the room, he was a cute as could be! Here is a video of our future son, responding to the instruction to “dance” to the teddy bear singing the ABC’s!

He was afraid of us a little bit and kind of hollered out at first when I tried to take his hand, but then after I gave him the signing teddy bear, he settled down. He even took Craig’s hand and let him walk him down the hall towards the playroom. However, half way there, he took off the other way into some other hall! The social director then told Craig to go after him – they were gone for a long time!

Ian is FAST! and a bundle of energy! and ooohhhhh that smile!

Finally, we all made it to the now famous little playroom. There, Ian and Ari went totally wild! Laughing, grabbing every toy in sight, and having a ball in the hanging ribbons! We only had a very short time with Ian but I think the pictures will say it all. He slowly warmed to us and I am sure that tomorrow, when we have a couple of hours to play with him, we will get him to sit in our laps, and maybe even get some hugs! We were only able to see for about 15-20 min. today because we were late from the referral appointment L

Brothers, together at last! and having fun!

Ian LOVED playing “doctor” with us and he is smart! He knew to put the stethoscope on, pull back my shirt a little, and to pretend to listen to my heart beat. He also put on the mask and Doctors hat, and gave mommy a shot:)

He let daddy pick him up! and we found out he is really ticklish. For me, two of the best moments were when we were in the directors office and he took Ari’s hand in his, and then when Ian took both of the little kaleidoscopes we had brought, and Ari began to talk about how one of the kaleidoscopes was his, and Craig started to explain to Ari that Ian would give him one if he asked and then all of sudden, as if Ian knew exactly what was happening, he handed one of the kaleidoscopes right to Ari.

In terms of skills, Ian is able to dress himself, which was clear when his overalls were coming off, he re-hooked them with no assistance at all! He was also able to identify his eyes, ears, nose, etc...after being asked in his native language. He did say “done” in his language too. It is clear that he has cognitive processing skills and play skills. It was all a bit wild though, trying to snap pictures and take video with two little fast moving boys in a small room was kind of crazy, but we managed to get a few gems!

Plans for tomorrow include a morning visit to the orphanage, a trip to the downtown, and then on Wednesday, our facilitator and I, and her son, are going to the famed Kirov Ballet (now called the Marrinsky), where we will see the fairly tale “The Little Humpedbacked Horse.” We also just found out that the Hook family is here in St. Petersburg for their 10-day wait to bring Evan home! and so we will try to meet up with them for a meal as well.

All in all, we are enjoying our time. This is a fascinating city, young by European standards but looks so old. Many statuesque old buildings and art, and many, many aging and dilapidated medium rise condominium buildings. There a ton of new construction too, but it looks like it takes a long time to build things here. We even saw remnants of a past era here, during the time I first came to this country 23 years ago.

When I came here for a month back then, as an 18 year old, my new native friends called me, “Katya.” I was not surprised then, and more rather re-affirmed in the fact that today I learned that Ian’s mothers name was Katya, and she was 18 years old when he was born. God has his plan, and I am happy to be along for the ride.

To cap this post off, lest you think children are the only ones living at the orphanage - please meet Mary, a long, long, longtime resident of orphanage number TBA.