Day 3

Yesterday after we came home and napped for a while and I blogged about day 2, we headed out to spend some time and have dinner with Clark and Angie Hook. They are here in St. Petersburg waiting out the 10 days until they can return to take their newly adopted child Evan, home forever.

There are so many blessings in so many things around us and on this trip, I really do not want to bore you, but I have to write them down so that we never forget all the ways in which God has put this together for us to be able to accomplish what we are trying to do in rescuing Ian.

For many months now, I have been emailing with Heather Fillmore. They adopted a little sunshine of a girl from Ian’s orphanage, Anya. By God’s hand (even after trying to get around it), they were required to have a ten-hour layover on the way here for their court trip, in Atlanta, and we got to meet them. That was a gift.

You spend all of this time emailing and blogging and sometimes even getting to talk over the phone, with incredible like minded people all over the country that are in the various throws of international special needs adoptions, and it is a blessing that is beyond compare. It is our good fortune that Heather really knows how to share, ☺ and so she hooked us up with a great resource here in St. Petersburg, who also speaks near native English and is very gracious.

As a result, we have a driver at our beckon call, which is great because we are traveling with a 4 year old and it is still winter here, despite the unseasonably warm temperatures. Last night, with just a few hours notice, the driver and person who arranged for our hotel stay, this friend of the Fillmore’s, sent a young man for us, Anton, to drive us to downtown so we could have dinner with the Hooks.

We are looking forward to tomorrow when we will do some site seeing of this incredible city.

This is Winter Palace, on drive by!

I’m not going to get into how they drive here, just sufficient to say that keeping ones eyes OFF the road as a passenger, is a good thing, otherwise you might suffer a mild (or stronger) heart attack by the time you get to where you are going! Honestly, our drivers have been super and really safe, compared to the other people on the road. I guess cars and busses and trolleys coming straight for you, head on, and then turning just before impact, is a regular thing here, no one even flinches! Oy vey!

Downtown St. Peter

In any event, we made it downtown and found Clark and Angie and proceeded to have a most wonderful meal (the best we have had so far!) at a Chinese restaurant on Nevsky Prospect, a main drag in downtown Peter (this is what the natives refer to the city as). I gotta say, this was another, totally unexpected blessing and gift for us.

Many of you know what the Davis and Hook families have been through with their adoptions. We have prayed and fasted for both of these families, neither of which we have ever met in person, until last night. The Hooks are wonderful, kind, FUNNY, down to earth people who we hope to see more of when we get back to the States. They do not live too far from us and they come to Atlanta now and again, so there is for sure an Evan-Ian-Ari-Levi play date in the future! Clark Hook is a card! He made Ari laugh and laugh, and I think Craig was happy to have an adult male around for a change! The Hooks “adventure” is incredible and it makes you thank God for how he works, unseen by us, to get these kids home. We had a great time with them, they looked great after their ordeal, and we were totally surprised and thankful and humbled when they refused to also let us pay for our meals. All I can say it that again, we are being given gifts left and right around here, and as we are thousands of miles from home, it makes me realize that home is where GOD is, and if he is your heart, you can feel at home anywhere in the world.

Angie, Clark, Craig and Ari

A big thank you to you Angie and Clark for your kindness, for sharing so much with us of your story and about your children at home, and for the comic relief after we spend such an emotional day 2 here.

So, on to our third, and next to last, visit with adorable little Ian.

Today was a little different, in a good way, then the past two. Both the social director, who usually meets us at the front door, and the director, were away from the “office.” So, we got ushered into a large room that was like a gym. Ian came in and we immediately whipped out the ipod, onto which I had preloaded some Russian children’s music. I had been playing this music over and over in my car for weeks so I knew the words and could sing the main parts of a few of the songs. The ipod was a HIT! In fact, Vasya grabbed it, yelped in delight, and then proceeded to the middle of the tunnel structure that was in the room, so that we could not got to him easily. He is so SMART! He wanted to examine that ipod by himself, without us trying to bother him! He danced to the music for a while, and ran around with the ipod (he had a kung-fu grip on that thing so it was a long while before we could pry it out of his hands!).

We did a lot of different things today with Ian, and while he seemed even less interested in Ari than yesterday, and even at one point kind of shoed him away, the chance for parallel play with the boys was great because of the size of the room. Everything we did with Ian we did with Ari, side by side, and I think that helped Ian to see that Ari will be a part of all he does in our family too. Again, God has blessed us with Ari. Ari is taking this all so well. He does want to play with Ian, badly, but he is also realizing that Ian is going to need to learn how to play with him.

Ari trying to wrangle Ian so they can play:)

This sets Ari up as a teacher. This is exactly what Craig and I predicted and a reason why we felt we could adopt Ian into our home and it not have a negative effect on Ari. Ari is the more skilled at this point in social interactions, and that will be so good for our precious boy, because he will gain confidence in being able to show Ian how to play. The opportunity for Ian to build trust in all of us is gigantic and likely the most important facet of him attaching to each of us.

I cannot tell you how good this trip has been for Ari, too. Again, a gift. Ari’s use of language has EXPLODED from the time we left Dulles in Washington, D.C. until now. He is putting words together to communicate with our facilitator (whom he adores!) and Ian and to share what he sees with us, in a way that he has not done in the past. He is truly amazing, and everyone that has observed him here cannot believe how well he has managed this trip. For a brief moment today, I got both of my boys on my lap, and it was – cool!

Lest you think Ian is only one running around and constantly moving, please enjoy this shot of Daddy, doing the same! These are boys, they are always moving around! So to be honest, everything is kinda normal around here ☺

The thing that stands out to everyone the most is that this whole thing of “parents” is totally foreign to Ian. He has no concept of mama and papa, how would he? Given that, he is doing AMAZING! Today, out of nowhere, after I sang him Katusha in Russia again while rocking him, he gave me a KISS and little hug too! Talk about melt your mommies heart! He is still having a hard time with the affection that we are trying to show him. He is not afraid of us anymore, but he is not used to being touched, or hugged, or hugging back. To me, the process he is showing in having hugged Craig yesterday, and having kissed me today, is proof positive that is going to be able to attach to us in a normal way. A child SHOULD show reservation to strangers – and to him we are REALLY strange! He has very likely never even seen a person of color before. In a really funny moment yesterday, he began to examine Craig’s skin!

INSERT SUPER CUTE VIDEO OF THAT WHEN POSSIBLE:)

There were many moments in our time with Ian today where he showed just how smart he is. He put together a floor puzzle by himself, he got out a large mat and when we tried to help, he said he wanted to do it by himself. He even imitated an English word when I was showing him how to interact with the ipod. He showed great reciprocal play skills with Craig playing chase, and he learned how to work a toy he had never seen, very quickly. He shows no signs of being withdrawn, and like any other 3-5 year old boy, he is interested in everything around him. This is huge plus for him because so is his brother Ari.

As our time came to an end today, we got yet another gift. This morning I got kind of bold and asked if we could see Ian within his groupa, idea courtesy of the Hooks. We got kind of left to our own resources at the orphanage because the powers that be were out. So, we got to take Ian back to his groupa upstairs.

Ian's picture outside of the groupa door

In the three to five minuets that we stood at the door to his groupa, I know for certain that Craig’s life and his perception of the world were changed. He was literally knocked to his knees by orphaned little boys climbing on him. I wanted to snap a picture but the caregiver at the door was not happy that we were there and she let us know that. Still, she let those 2-3 boys come over to Craig, pet him, ask where his hair was, and jump into his arms and hug him. It was a moment I do not think I will ever forget. Craig was in awe, and like me yesterday, when the children stood at the gate as we drove off, he was in complete tears before we got ten feet from the groupa.

I don’t care what kind of man any man is, the scene at the orphanage today when we arrived at the groupa would have brought you to tears. It was clear these little boys had some special needs, but it was also clear that they were LITTLE BOYS, God’s perfect creations, left behind. The touch of a orphans hand on your head, stroking your face, looking at you in awe, hugging you tight…it is more than any of us could take, and to my dear sweet Craig, all I could do was tell him that at least we are HERE, and we are making it one less, and that we are doing, in this moment in our lives, all that we can do to not turn a blind eye to the situation.

Later, after we left the orphanage for the day and dropped Craig and Ari off at the hotel for nap, our facilitator and I went to have me sign and notarize some paperwork. This was the reason for the trip, for us to meet Ian and for us to officially say that we accept the referral (affectionately known as referral number seventy), and that we won’t change our minds about adopting Ian. Since the debacle last Spring with the American woman sending her adopted son back here on a plane by himself, they actually ask you if you have plans to do the same. Dear lord.

I found out Ian’s middle name, his mothers full name, that the building he is in and the ones around it are more than 40 years old, but look more than 100 years old, and that he will be just the second child with Down Syndrome to be adopted here.

I had lunch with our facilitator and in a strange way, we have much in common. When I first came to Russia, in August of 1988, I landed at a youth camp on the Black Sea. In August of 1988, she too was at a youth camp on the shores of the Black Sea. She was translating for a group of young Americans.

Tonight, while those sweet faces who touched out hearts today at Ian’s orphanage sleep, with no mommy and daddy coming to meet them and take them home, I will sit in a seat in a world famous theater, watching the Kirov Ballet. I have never been to a ballet of any kind, and to sit there tonight and watch the beauty of dance, hear the orchestra, see the magical costumes and stage…I am certain tears will be falling for all of these babies that we have met who are still waiting from someone to hear the call of God to open their hearts and homes to his children.

We have been so thankful for all of your comments and prayers while we are here. We wish we could respond to each of them, but please know that we treasure your thoughts and insights and that you are sharing Ian’s story.

As our facilitator and I parted ways today I was told that the orphanage doctor wanted to know that if Ian needs surgery before we can get him home, do we want to have it done in Russia, or wait until he is in our care. Of course, I said wait, if it was not life threatening. Still, it is becoming more and more clear that he is going to need some sort of surgery, and possibly more than one on more than one part of his tiny little body. We ask first for your prayers for this sweet child, that he may be able to stave off having any surgeries until he is home with us, and that you help us bring him home as soon as possible. We have no qualms about letting you know we are $18,000.00 short in being fully funded. We won’t be able to submit our request for a court date via the court dossier, until we are very close, or at that amount raised. Please pray that we will be able to raise this amount quickly and get Ian home this summer.

In him,

Gretchen, Craig, Ari, and Ian☺