Dossier "Thing 1" - Training Classes & A note to Ian

Well, thanks to the many generous donations thus far, I was able to pay for and begin the many hours of adoption training classes that are required to be submitted in my dossier. The class was $39.99. I looked into several on-line offerings that would meet the dossier requirements and this choice was by far the most cost effective. It is the longest, in terms of time requires to complete, but in my mind, that is a good thing. It is the only offering that had a syllabus and the only one to cover so many topics. The "eye candy" course was almost $200.00! No way do I want to spend Ian's adoption money on eye candy that won't teach me much. This company seems more grassroots, which is right up my alley. I'll keep you posted, I plan to start tonight:)

Here is my first class. It is online (thank you!) so I can work on it at anytime of the day or night and I don't have to spend money on a sitter for Ari or gas to get to a classroom:

Welcome Gretchen Stewart!

Thank you for joining course: JSBG2-Adopting older children internationally: making a decision and coping with post-adoption difficulties .

After entering the course, locate the Lesson area and click on one of the Lesson Names to begin. You must pass all required lessons to complete the course. You have to complete this course by 9/7/2010. Upon completion you will receive a certificate that you can print or access at any time.

This comprehensive course is developed for parents considering adoption of older children internationally. It covers a lot of information from a pre-adoption decision making to post-adoption difficulties of adjustment period and beyond. The course material gives you an insight into what it may be like to bring up a traumatized child with an institutional background, gives you real life examples of how the child's behavioral, emotional and educational problems can be approached, and where to go if you need help or information. It's likely that you will not encounter all of the discussed subjects right from the start of your adoption, but you will want to return to them later.

These are my units for this class:

• Unit 1. Older internationally adopted children as a group

• Unit 2. Making a decision to adopt internationally

• Unit 3. Building the family together and resolving emotional issues

• Unit 4. Managing behavior and building new skills

• Unit 5. Addressing educational issues

• Unit 6. Parental survival skills

• Unit 7. Professional medical and psychological help

• Exit quiz Hmmmm, completed Unit 1 and I've obviously strapped into another roller coaster ride. Being an educator is a double-edged sword in this whole thing, and in raising children all together because I know, first hand, how all of these things impact children developmentally. Yet, I am also able to be sustained by faith, hope, and the scientific knowledge that the human brain can grow new dendrites every 15 min., no matter how young or old you are! Attachment is the basis for everything, and Ian has been without the proper attachment figures for his whole life. I would be a fool not to prepare us for the real world, day to day outcomes of that deficit in his life. It is everything really. Today I am holding back the sad tears again, mourning for the absence of those critical relationships and attachments Ian has never had. If we could intervene when they are babies, the work would be simpler in the sense of what we do naturally as caregivers fills so much of the most important attachment issues. Still, God led me to Ian at this time in both of our lives, not before and not after. I have to trust that there is very good reason for this. In fact, I can already provide a laundry list as to why it never would have worked before, and why later isn't going to be the case either. Ian does not speak, and I am not at all surprised by this. My letter to Ian today: My Dear Ian Will, Don't worry about all that stuff mommy is talking about above, we will work on it. If we all have to learn ASL, we will do it! If we all have to learn your native language as a stepping stone, we will do it! (well, actually, we are already doing that:) We are here for you son, and even though we are physically apart for a while more, mommy is working so very hard to make sure that we are ready for you. We miss you every moment of everyday, and we talk about you and we include you in every way that we can. Ari prays for you everyday and he always says to me, "...wanna go on the plane and see Ian mama, right now." Your little friend Anna's mommy, who will come see her and you soon, she is helping mommy make you a book just like Anna's with a family of your own! Mommy will bring it to you soon! Hang on baby boy, we have lots to do before we get permission to book those flights to come and meet you, but mommy is using all of her smarts to get us there as soon as she can:) We love you so much little buddy!!!