Day 4 of 14: Part I - Survival

Today was hard and beautiful at the same time. It was the first real day like I felt like I just wanted to go home. We have a long way to go before that can happen...sigh......I miss my family. I miss Ari so much, I could not even Skype with him today without starting to cry.

God's gracing me with this face everyday though and thats helping.







Wanna know what happened today with this cutie? Wanna see some incredible new pictures of Ian and his new life? Well, there's someone I need you to meet first, and spend some time with. I want you to know about this person, so much so, that I am going to make my next post, which has the most amazing news about Ian yet, and tons of pictures, dependent on you reading this post and commenting on it. Read to the end and you'll help to get Ian's day today posted tomorrow!

This person I want you to know, her name is Elena, although that is not her real name. Her real name in Russian sounds like Elena, so she uses that. She is our facilitator here in St. Petersburg. She is the sole force here for Hand in Hand Adoptions and she is - God sent.







Elena is in the middle of myself and Nina Clark, who just arrived home with their new daughter Elizabeth. Elena facilitated that adoption too.

Elena and I have some things in common that I talked about the first time we met her here in April. The most kismet of them being that when I was here in 1988 on the Black Sea in Odessa, at a young Communist campsite for a peace demonstration, she was literally a few miles down the road at another campsite along the Black Sea, translating for a group of American's. She met her husband at that camp during that time.







Me in Russia in 1988 at 18 years old.

Personality wise, she's even more OCD than me about paperwork, she's like a highly skilled doctor with all of this adoption stuff. She has to be, her job here, if done wrong, could result in her total loss of livelihood and even land her in jail.

Why does she do this? A recent happening with one of her families will show why. A family from Indiana adopted an older child with no special needs. About a year after that child was home and learned to speak enough English to tell her parents something important, she did. She told them she remembered her mother hiding a baby. Long story short, the family inquired and asked for Elena to conduct an investigation. Contrary to the laws here, the baby that the mother had been hiding was not attached to her sisters records. There was a baby, and once found, the family told Elena that MUST begin the process for them to adopt her, REGARDLESS of her condition. Well, her condition was terrible. She was near death and Elena had to fight to get the adoption through. Years later, the family send Elena a video of this hidden treasure they found because her sister learned to speak, it was of this girl giving a full research report, in English, to her regular school class. Elena took this video to the orphanage where they almost didn't let the "profoundly dumb, disabled, nearly blind and mute" little child leave from. Mouths hit the floor. Most of all, minds were CHANGED.

Elena's work carries on through the years and changes things here. She is facilitating adoptions in places that have NEVER had an adoption, or not one in 35 years. What kind of impact do YOU have on your job? I can say mine is nowhere near where hers is, and it IS forcing me think about what I spend most of my time on in my life.

On Monday, Elena and I were sharing family news while we waited in line to apply for Ian's passport. This process usually takes 3-4 hours or more. God showed us favor that morning however, and we were in and out in less than 2. Please pray for continued smooth governmental processes. Ian's passport will be ready for pick up Friday, which requires another session of line "taking" (which means standing in line). People pay other people here to stand in lines for them. That ought to tell you something about the way life is here.

Last year before we made our first trip to Russia to meet Ian, we were told that our adoption facilitator here had something terrible happen in her family. Her parents in law, her husbands mother and father who are in their 70's, were hit while crossing the streets here in St. Petersburg. They were badly, terribly injured. Her mother in law has recovered well, but her father in law not so much. In fact, his condition is not well and this is how he will have to live out the remainder of his golden years with an injured, broken, and painful body. Watching her talk about him made me want to cry, I could see her eyes watering up.







Elena's parents in law are in bad shape. Life for the elderly here is in worse shape. The type of social security they have here is a joke. Elena's mother, who was a career teacher and still teaches two days a week at St. Petersburg State University (yea, she's a college professor) - gets $120.00 PER MONTH to live on. That is what the Russian government thinks she can live on. If your mother was 71 and getting only $120 a month plus a small part time salary, do you think you have to help her out financially? Yeah, the answer is YES.

Next time you think you have it rough, consider this: Elena's father in law, the one who was ruthlessly run over in the streets by a car had to be taken to a State run (public) hospital when the accident happened. He was in intensive care for a MONTH. Intensive care in a state run Russian hospital looks like this: 12 beds in ONE ROOM, the smells, noises, and disposition of 12 people who are hurt enough to be nearly dead, 12 peoples families moaning and stressed out, hundreds of antiquated machines emitting noises and malfunctioning...etc...who could get better under those conditions? Not her father in law. In order to help save his life, they had to pay money to get him into a better room with just 2 seriously injured people, where he could gain some peace to recover.







It was a lot of money. Dear God. Elena also supplements greatly her mother, who wants to live on her own until it is absolutely no longer possible. She's 71 but spirited, she walks EVERYDAY, even in the bitter cold of winter in one of the coldest places on earth.

Today, while Elena's parents in law live at their own apartment again, things are not good. Elena is caring for three families and her husbands salary is not even sufficient to care for her and their only son whose in college. Her husband is a degreed Engineer. When the Soviet Union fell, life here became desperate for most people. Professional people who were making decent wages, lost just about everything.

While we can all debate the pros and cons of Communism, there is no debate needed to see that major political changes here have impacted the average Russian in ways we cannot even begin to understand. At the very least, the old Soviet system provided decent medical care and enough food for people, and especially older people. They had enough to live and medical care and schools were better than they are now. Capitalism and Democracy have brought freedoms in the marketplace, and in cultural life, but the division now that exists between the quality of care and services in the government versus private sector is profound. Most people cannot begin to afford private medical care in hospitals and schools. This is the case of our facilitator.

I have known Elena since April 2011. I have met her son Max and her husband. They are good, good people. Elena works miracles here for families, she works sometimes 80 hours a week to get all of the necessary paperwork and processes in order for families to be successful in their adoptions. It is not just a job you do because you need a job. Her small apartment is filled with adoption documents. Her husband doesn't even like to be in the living room because of all of the papers. Yeah she gets paid, but trust me when I say that the hourly rate is not one we in the US would every do with three families to try and support. She has no time for herself. None.

She is the consummate professional and she arranges things that others cannot arrange. She does this because she is a gracious person and she is cordial to officials who do not understand the reasons behind why us Americans want their ""damaged" children. She has a lot of explaining to do everyday to people who don't understand what she or we are doing. She takes a risk having this job in this country.

Elena does not know this yet, but we are about to give her a gift to help her family. I can't say anything about it tonight because the information is kind of sensitive until we get back to the United States but just trust me that because of all that people have done for us to get Ian home, we are going to pay a small part of that forward to this woman for her work to make all of this possible. If we don't give till it hurts, then we are not ever going to move past the boundaries God wants us to break through in giving.







If you read this poster, you'll realize that you are RICH in SO MANY WAYS. That position demands respect given to those who cannot answer YES to any of the questions.

Elena gives and gives for families, and we just don't get it about the impact her job has on her life. It strains her relationships at home, working at all hours, working till she drops, not having three consecutive days to even get her teeth worked on, spending any money they have to keep their parents going and her son in school.

Please add Elena and her family to your prayers tonight. Without her, Ian would not be coming home, and he might even have already been moved to a place where we could not have rescued him from. She got some strings pulled for us this past year and while she won't admit to it, I know that she worked herself hard for Ian.







During our multiple wait times over two days which we encountered doing adoption stufff, I asked more about the situation of Elenas parents in law. What I found out made me cry right there on the spot in a Russian state office in front of her.

My heart is SO broken for her and their family over this accident. Elena did not sleep well last night because her fax machine was ringing all night long and in their home they have 3 phones that all ring when one rings, and so her husband was, in her words, furious at her. Our office in the US was faxing during the day there, which is night time here. She looked SO tired and sad, I knew she was putting on a face for me and I asked her more about what was happening with her.

When her 71 year old parents in law were crossing the street on a walk signal, they had the green. A car, driven by a younger man ran a red light and slammed into them both. Her father in law was hit hard on the right side his body, he was taken away by ambulance, they were not sure if he would survive. Elena's husband is their only child. 2 years ago, this man had a stroke. They told the family he would never walk or talk again, but because they love him so, and because at 69 he was still so vibrant, they worked hard and spent their savings money to get him rehabilitation. Just 2 months before the accident, he had recovered FULLY from that stroke! He was walking well, talking fine,, and had regained all of the movement and functions in the RIGHT side of his body, which was the side that was totally paralyzed from the stroke.







Did you catch that? His RIGHT side. The car hit him on his RIGHT side.

Dear God.

My next question was if he was now terribly depressed. My fears were confirmed, he is very, very depressed.

The young man that hit hese two wonderful people, Elena's parents-in-law, admitted his guilt on the spot. He was taken to jail, his act was criminal. He was going to jail for FIVE YEARS.

Until..

Elena's parents in law and she and husband learned that this man has two young children, Ian's age. His unemployed wife stays at home with the kids. When he was arrested, his job promptly fired him for having been arrested and now having criminal charges against him. You know what I am about to say right? Elena's family signed the papers to rescind the charges against him and they saved him from jail. They couldn't do it to that man's young children.

GOOD PEOPLE, STRUGGLING.

The relationships Elena forges with all manner of officials, the police, and orphanage directors are ABSOLUTELY KEY and CRITICAL to all of us adopting families here in this region. We cannot bring our kids home without it. She is strict to be sure, but she is also an individual with her own life and family and worries and history and future. I've had my moments here, struggling with those things that seem so absurd, and I've even had my moments with Elena over the past year, the important thing is that as Christian adult people, we carry the torches of hope. Being the hands and feet does not only mean you help others when you planned on it, it means when you walk up on a situation that cries out for help, you step forward with passion, to do what you can. God does not show you good people struggling so you can say, wow, that's too bad, and then be glad it didn't happen to you.

We love Elena, and have a deep respect for her, and we hope she will feel that love when we say goodbye to her on Saturday as we board the train to Moscow. I hope she cries when she opens her gift, I love to make people cry from joy. So many people did the same for us to make being here possible. I'm eating Tuna and crackers to help give her a good gift, and my little Starkist lunch kits that I brought and my .98 cent cups of Manchurin Ramen Noodles never tasted so GOOD!

Sneak peek to tomorrow's post: Ian and I ate tuna for dinner and he.....

Just leave a message of HOPE for Elena and her family. The more I get, the sooner Ian's next post goes up and trust me, it's another inspiring tear jerker.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:13-я линия,St Petersburg,Russia

Day 3 of 14: Ian eats out!

Sometimes, pictures speak a thousand words!

Ian was so tired last night, and likely mentally spent from his world just opening wide like it did, that he fell asleep sitting up LOL! He slept all night, minus the tossing and turning and sitting up in bed half asleep trying to ascertain just exactly where he was and what strange bed he was in!

Ian is a voracious thumb sucker and it was actually so loud that I found it hard to sleep, and it even woke me several times. Hmmm, gonna have to work on that after we get home, his poor little thumb is almost raw from sucking it so much. His mouth is likewise malformed because of it too, I notice its not aligned right and since I just went to the dentist for my other son Ari, who sucks on his hands from time to time, I feel like Ian has what the dentist told me Ari would have if he didn't stop sucking his hands. The thumb sucking is not your normal thumb sucking either, he rather keeps his mouth open so he dried his mouth out and then starts gagging for saliva I guess. I'm not gonna lie, it is disturbing to me.

Ian rocks too, back and forth if you let him. I don't. I've only seen it at night so far and maybe this is how he has put himself to sleep with 11 other kids in his bedroom at night. Poor baby, it's heartbreaking to watch some of the behaviors that you just know have come from his past.

Ian began to stir at about 7:30 this morning and then once he was fully awake I pulled him over into my bed with me and we did some morning snuggles. He wasn't into that too much but he did stay put next to me. Its so super sad about the deficits these kids have with getting and receiving affection. It's SO unnatural and its hard for me to process every time I go to touch him and he's not sure what to do, or what I'm doing. He's getting the hang of it but for most of the time, he is not able to do hugs or kisses or even be picked up. I was talking to Craig last night explaining that Ian doesn't know what to do when he is picked up. He just gets stiff as a board and tries to free himself. He has no idea that you are to wrap your legs around and hold on for the ride. I had to show him that and it blew my mind, it is so not what I am used to in a child either, our Ari is snuggle bug for real, he loves affection and cannot get enough of it and he loves to be picked up.

So, you'll not believe this (unless your name is Heather, Katrina, or Nina) I'm not with Ian right now! He's back at the hotel with two brave young girls, Anastasia and Victoria. They are his very first babysitters! It is mandatory here that when you go to some required appointments around town that you have childcare arranged for the children, they cannot come into many of the offices here and sit for hours in lines. I will be gone most of the day, so this ought to be interesting!?....as I left he had reverted back to wild man Ian, the out of control Ian that we met the first trip. He was yelling and being naughty. When they walked in he was even a bit afraid, I thought he was going to cry. He obviously was not cool with it, but the girls are good and they had him laughing when I closed the door. They have strict orders not to leave the hotel and order lunch in the room. Good luck girls!

So, how does one find a babysitter in Russia? One name - BORIS! Yep, He's a jack of all trades and the two young ladies he helped me to hire for this day, and again on Friday when we go pick up Ian's passport, they could not be more perfect for Ian. I phoned the room several times to check on them and they girls reported that Ian ate a big lunch of meat and potatoes! He actually ate more with them then he did for me! I guess they know what Russian kids want to eat!

So, our facilitator E and I took care of our to do list all over the city today. We had lunch at really calming Sushi house ten steps from her apartment. I had the best non-alcoholic Mojito I ever had too, and the cherry dumplings for dessert were awesome. Craig let me take his new camera with me so I would not be lugging our pro camera and I took my first panoramic shot from the steps of the sushi place. Tomorrow I have a two part post coming up, our day as usual, but a special post about our facilitator E. It will seriously make you cry, I know I have been crying for her since we started getting real with one another at the Passport office while "taking" line.







After I got back to the hotel from lunch, Ian was playing in the babysitters shoes, walking all around in heels! Good lord this boy is a card! The girls left, and Ian and I went down for a nap. BEST advice I ever got from my mother when I had Ari: sleep when your baby sleeps! I did not take her advice the last time I had a new baby in my midst, and I regretted it. Today was proof that you can teach and old pony new tricks. He and I slept - for three hours!

We woke, and since the girls let me know that he ate really well of meat and potatoes, I thought we would try our hand at a restaurant where I knew I could get him a kids plate of happy face potatoes and mini hot dogs (knew that because that was the plate Ari enjoyed at the same restaurant when we were here for Trip #1). That's right people, once again I dared the powers that be and left our quarters, this time for dinner in a public place. Any takers on how it went?

Sometimes, pictures speak a thousand words!





















Do you see anything notable in our dinner pictures? Nope, neither do I, and that my friends IS the notable part! Ian has never ever eaten in a restaurant, ever. He was like ANY OTHER KID in there! In fact, there was another 5 something little boy there and he was acting out, screaming, hitting the table, etc....while our boy was as cool as a cucumber.

Like I said yesterday, AMAZING. He wanted to sit in the big boy chair, alone. HE PICKED OUT HIS OWN PLATE OF FOOD from the picture choices. They brought markers and paper, and he drew. The food was taking a while, so he put his head on the table and comforted himself without a peep. He asked for water intermittently, and when the not so bright waiter brought out my food before his (clearly he has no young children), he weathered that storm WELL! He actually turned to the kitchen entrance where he watched them bringing out the food from, pointed to it, and then to himself. He was asking, in the only way he can right now, "...and where is my food?"

Awe man, I can't even begin to express to you how humbling and how EASY taking care of him is.







Ian makes up his own fun games too! I am all too happy to play along. After dinner, and because it has turned lovely here, sunny and warm, no rain at all - we went for a long, slow walk around this very big block. I had intended for us to hit the playground again, but since they were burning a massive pile of what must have been toxic materials in the back lot near the playground, and the white smoke was choking us, I thought not.

Ian has this little bottle of water that I keep refilling for him. He knowns it belongs to him. While we were walking, he began to take it out of the holder on the stroller, carry it a few paces, and then place it on the ground and look up and smile and laugh. I think he thinks water, in a bottle, is hilarious! he often stares at it, shakes it, and examines it.















Dear Amy and Matt, yes, those are the shoes you sent me for Heidi. I
CAN explain! You see, we grossly, and I mean really embarrassingly, sized Ian's feet wrong last time we saw him. Me, being uber prepared, bought and brought THREE sizes of shoes for him, sure that one would fit. None fit, not a one, all way to big for him. So, in the midst of the crazy snatch and grab that was Gotcha Day, E suggested I take those shoes you sent, and have Ian wear them. I was totally horrified! First, they were meant for Little One and second, they were GIRLS shoes! Poor Ian, he can't even escape girls stuff with his long awaited forever family, I felt so totally lame! I SO did not want to do it but I had no choice, the kids are stripped of everything, and if you don't have it for them well, you are SO out of luck. I'm so sorry!

Here's the saving grace about the shoes though. IAN loves the red light up stars on the front and in he car ride from H---, those shoes saved us all, multiple times! They are still working their light up girl shoe magic and make for a great redirect when things get hairy outside and I need to reel him back in! of course, all of the other shoes I brought promptly replaced this pair and so the groupa got a good deal. Yeesh!







Happy boy.







...yes it's an infant tub (don't judge, its all they had and he fits so I'm going with it!). He loves bath but the focus is all about washing and none about playing. I gave him a bath toy today, rubber ducky, and he proceeded to try and use it to scrub himself. I knew this was going to happen, they are so regimented at the orphanage, and likely just sprayed down. They have been trained to meticulously wash themselves, heck he does a better job than I do on myself.

Here's another one of him:







Whups!, thats NOT our IAN, it's our ARI! they so look like brothers to me:)








Step 1: find feet under deluge of bubbles







Step 2: scrub with mommies scrunchie because the hotel keeps removing our wash clothes and not returning them and when I ask for more they only bring more and more scrunchies







Step 3: examine a job well done, checking for any missed spots







Step 4 - 400: repeat same for ENTIRE body and especially the bum. He's got to be the cleanest former orphan this side of the Atlantic.







A bath time like that would tire even the most resolute 5 year old OUT.

Tonight, while I was watching him fall asleep, he began to rock.

I immediately went over and knelt by his bed, laid my head down, began to sing Amazing Grace and rub his head. WHAT I WOULD NOT PAY to have known what was going on in his brain at that moment. He soaked it all up but too, he did the most wonderful thing to me that I have never experienced in my entire life!

We had faces close as I sang and he sucked that dag gone thumb. He was looking at me intently and then, he reached out and with the most exacting and light as a feather touch, he touched my EYE LASHES! back and forth he played with my eyelashes, both top and bottom! He never once poked my eye and had the steadiest hand, and all of this occurred in a mostly dark room! I really have no words to describe the feelings I was having when this was going on. I of course started to cry and his pillow was then stained with my mascara laden tear drops.

The one thing I always knew about coming here alone was that it would be our time to bond. When a little child PETS your eyelashes at night and smiles so big at you like he did...I feel like tonight he understood that I am his mama and that I am never going to leave him.

...and I never will.

Location:13-я линия,St Petersburg,Russia

Gotcha Day!

First off, my deepest apologies to ALL whose blogs I have stalked on their Gotcha Days wondering why it took SO LONG for them to post about it! LOL It's dag gone near impossible, especially with me being here alone, to blog now that Ian is with me, ahhhh, so much for the grand plans (no pun intended but someone just started playing some serious classical music on the baby grand piano they have in the lobby here at our hotel) cool! I get to wright Ian's Gotcha Day post to some live Mozart:).

It's fitting though, because this kid Ian - HE'S AN INSTANT CLASSIC!

So, the morning of Gotcha Day went like this:

- 5:15 I woke up, sent some emails, listened to a voice memo from my son telling my he loves me:), got ready, packed Ian's clothes (yea!), lugged the orphanage donation suitcase of clothing down the flight of steps (nope, no elevator here), grabbed a quick continental breakfast and got myself into the lobby all ready to be picked up.

- 7:15 am left the hotel for the Passport application process.









- 7:15-9:45 waited in line for the passport office (which is located in a fantastic renovated factory called the "United" document center) to open at 9:00 am and then waited for our number "19" to be called to room "19" to apply.

- 10:00 changed some money to purchase train tickets.

- 10:30 arrived at the train station to purchase tickets for the train ride from here to Moscow on Saturday. Train tickets were about $300.00 for a one way to Moscow on the fast train for both of us.














- 11:00 Arrived at the Adoption Unit office to pick up documents that we will need in Moscow at the Embassy.

- Noon: Arrived back to the hotel for a surprise break in the day, I had until 1:45 to work my nerves up even more before we left for the camp LOL!

- 1:45 left to pick up our facilitator "E" then headed to the grocery store where we bought $150.00 worth of goodies for Ian's farewell tea party - of which neither he or I get to partake in (yeah, crazy sad). I bought some really tasty chicken with peaches and cheese on top (sounds gross but it was SO SO good) and some bread as I could not eat lunch at the hotel because remember, I was working myself into cold sweats getting all nervous.

- About 3:45 we arrived at the camp! Earlier that day I lamented that the sun was officially gone from St. Petersburg until May 2012 (which is what E told me!), as we pulled into camp, the SUN SHONE all over the place and the cold nip ran away from the air. It turned into a beautiful day outside.

I was told this morning that our arrival to the camp would culminate in a swift removal of Ian and goodbye. I hated that. I wanted to spend some time with the other children. I was impossible. The moment we got there they released Ian to me and I got zero help with him the entire time.

Not all orphanages are created equally. Some caregivers love the kids, some clearly don't. Today the clearly don'ts were out in force, mean mugging me the whole time. A couple were gracious and one in particular at least tried to help me get him dressed by talking to him.

any who......

Ian was outside on the walk when we came up. I had a 50 pound suitcase filled with clothing for the groupa and we had 5 big bags from the grocery store. Pulling the suitcase through the SAND at the camp was a workout!

Guess what my baby did for the first time EVER?

When he saw me, HE RAN TO ME and jumped into my arms and gave me a hug and then turned to everyone and waved and said BYE! Oh my gosh that moment was SO funny! If you have been following Ian's story you will realize that for him to do that, to run to me and hug me, was MAJOR.

On the way to the camp, I flipped open my ipad and touched to open an app I have. It's called DAILY HELP. It's a spiritual app, and gives you some scripture and a message to start each day with. I don't know what made me open it, but I am sure it was not by accident that the message for today had this printed in it in BIG CAPITAL LETTERS:

SHE WON THE VICTORY BY BELIEVING IN HIM

Like I said, I've been doing enough thinking to think myself into a pit about these two weeks of me and Ian alone together. I've followed LOTS of blogs and I've met Ian twice, and both times he screamed most of the time and dismantled his immediate surroundings. Craig calls me the softie of the two of us when it comes to parenting. He's right, I'm the love-v dove-e one, I cave easy!

When I read this message today right before we turned into camp, I knew it was about me and Ian. I needed to BELIEVE that he could do this, and be okay. I kinda hoped he could, and I have told others that I thought he'd be great, but I know that I did not fully BELIEVE my own words.

So, right quick, before we got out of the car I said a prayer and I made sure that I walked towards his groupa a with a new attitude. I KNEW IAN could do great! and the whole tone of the day was instantly changed.

Here is more of the passage:

The woman opens her soul wide, expecting great things of Jesus, and he fills it with his love. Dear reader, do the same. She laid fast hold upon him, and drew arguments even out of his words; she believed great things of him, and she thus overcame him. SHE WON THE VICTORY BY BELIEVING IN HIM. Her case is an instance of prevailing faith; and if we would conquer like her, we must imitate her.

*********************
Up first: GET IAN DRESSED TO LEAVE (they don't do it at #40, you do it and they watch you!)

Let's talk fashion for orphans for a moment. It leaves lots to be desired. The first time we met Ian he sported pink pants, socks worn so thin they had holes and his little tootsies were sticking out of them, too tight shoes, and about 4 layers of upper body clothing - oye vey! Today was NO better, he had on full body purple girls tights, corduroy shorts, and 3 upper layers. It was a screaming struggle, but I finally got him dressed.

It's time for this boy to rock some style! Unfortuatley, since they basically just gave him to me and never looked back, I had a really hard time getting any decent pictures of this day AND trying to keep Ian from bolting!

Choosing a gotcha day outfit, and Ian's first real outfit was too much fun for me. I had lots to choose from this morning since I had to abandon the choice Craig and I made together at home before I left (it was shorts and a short sleeve shirt) as it's straight up chilly here.

So, I chose a navy blue ensemble, and he rocked it like this!:














Then it was, believe it or not, time to leave! Talk about a crazy few moments there, I was trying to focus on Ian but my heart was breaking that I was not going to be able to hug our little friends here Heidi and Angelina. I did manage to get a picture of Angelina making quick work of a play structure (look out Randy and Shelia! She's a monkey!)








"E" tried to snap a Gotcha Day photograph but Ian was having NONE of that! I think it is a conspiracy at #40 (right Heather?) to NOT let your new parents and the hundreds of others waiting for this ONE picture, have it!







This is the best one we could get - I swear that's Ian under that hat!







We left the camp right away and he was chomping at the bit to get into the car. The social director from the camp rode back with us - awesome, now I had three people in the car with us all watching me try to parent Ian, and boy did he work me! We were ALL glad to get out of that car when we arrived back at the hotel. Sufficient to say, I had to keep telling myself "BELIEVE BELIEVE" in order to make it through that RIDE.








Once we got back to the hotel, things got under some modicum of control and the magic began to really happen for this sweet little boy. He is such a gift, such a smarty pants, he's been a giant blessing to us for more than a year and now that he is in our midst, he is so much more than I ever imagined. I'm crying for HIM because God knew that he should not languish and die in a terrible place. Ian would have KNOWN all that was happening to him. He is not at all imbecilic or even slow (as they call children like him here), he's the OPPOSITE! He can do things I have not seen typically developing children who have grown up in families do. He is AMAZING me in every second I am with him.

I so don't feel even worthy for this treasure that God has placed in my lap, but I'm not gonna lie when I say that ALL OF THE WORK that it has taken to make this day possible (and y'all know it was HELL of earth for much of it), has totally WASHED AWAY. For him, I would do it 100 times.

There are SO MANY things that happened for Ian and me in the space of the two or three hours he was awake after they left us at the hotel. I can't blog them all right now because it's 2 am here and I have got to get some sleep. So for now, here are some highlights:







After we did potty (which is an issue, kinda funny, actually kinda hilarious, for which I promise to talk all about tomorrow), and because the weather was nice and I knew I needed to run those energizer bunny batteries down if I was going to have any chance at getting him to sleep, WE LEFT THE HOTEL. Yep! thats right, we went outside, to the total violation of all suggested actions for brand newly adopted kiddos and mama's traveling alone. What can I say, I'm just not good at following directions!







I was a witness to a child's first time out FREE to run in the world. This ALONE was worth it all, to watch this was absolutely amazing! Stunning really. Once we got to the little playground adjacent to the hotel (yep, that is one reason I chose this hotel) I let him out of my firm grasp and he ran, and then stopped....and looked up.

He was speechless. The tall (to him) buildings that he could reach out and TOUCH, the people, the birds, the air, the FREEDOM. He looked up towards the sky and closed his eyes and reached out, as if to touch God and say THANK YOU. It was SO hard for me to keep it together, I wanted to just sit down and cry. Not possible though because this kid is FAST!

















































We had fun. We got stared at and I am sure talked about, but I could have cared less, there was something SO amazing going on around the people watching us, it was kind of a strange happiness in me that only him and I knew what was unfolding - to everyone else we looked crazy I'm sure.

Do you see him examining the under side of the seesaw? Ian is an examiner. He wants to know HOW everything works. He is a brilliant learner, he can already sign "more" and I swear to you that he knows what I am saying to him! I ask him if he wants water (just like that in English) and he answers in Russian, clearly and with purpose. When he's thirsty, he answers yes, and when he's not, he says no.

He explored the hotel room, every inch, and we had some minor needs for parenting to keep us all safe (like throwing toys full force into the mirrors and other newly released freely into the world 5 year old boy teachable moments).

My favorite funny moments from our time in the hotel room are:

-When I brought out a mechanical dog who barks and walks when you pet his back, IAN took off my flip-flops (yes, he loves to wear my shoes) and proceeded to batter the barking doggie over the head with my shoe!

-When we were eating dinner, mac and cheese for him and Ramen for me (he clearly does not do noodles), he would look at me really close, smile, look at his food, and bust out laughing!

-When it was time for bed, he wasn't sure about it so after I laid him down and sat on the edge of his bed, he got back up, pulled off the blanket, and climbed into my arms and hugged me tight. Then he laid back down. AMAZING.







I don't know when I will have a chance to let all of the emotions of this day, this trip, this year plus adoption process - OUT. I need a really good hard, cry. It's the good kind to be sure, but it's been bottled up and wish Craig was here. I miss my Ari bug badly and I feel like if one thing does go wrong, I'm gonna fall apart. Today was a good day. 2 of 14 down, 13 to go. Please keep us in your prayers.

AMEN. :)



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Location:St Petersburg,Russia