Spiritual Maturity and VICTORY (or Victoria)

I can't believe it has been six months since we began our journey to Ian.
Six months.

In that time, so very much has happened that I regret not keeping a daily journal.

Still, the things that God is teaching us through this experience, they have stuck, and won't be lost, even if we don't right them down.

Tonight, I want to share one of the things, a big one, that God has taught me through trying to get Ian home, through working everyday on completing an international special needs adoption.

It is about humility. It is about spiritual maturity, and it is NOT about me.

I am an addict. An addict for all of the faces of waiting children listed on Reece's Rainbow. Once you get hooked, there is no way out. You are either going to adopt a child that God has led you to, or you are going to work to help others adopt, or both. Once you know about www.reecesrainbow.org, you become a stalker of the site.

I admit my addiction. I look at Reece's Rainbow at least once per day. My first click is to the "my family found me" page, where I can see the latest child that will be saved. Tonight, my heart was so happy to see "Charity" there. She is saved, thank you God! Some night, two or three kids show up at a time there! It's Christmas everyday on the my family found me page.

I remember when Ian showed up there.

I also remember how long it took me before I could honestly say this, "I am not jealous or envious of other child on Reece's Rainbow who has a full adoption grant, or lots of money in his or her adoption grant fund. I am happy and hopeful for them that a family will step forward."

This took a while for me and here is why. God needs me to be happy for other people no matter what my circumstances are. It is not about what is fair. When Ian had ZERO dollars in his account, and so many others had so much more, I admit that I was jealous. Jealously comes from fear. My fear was that Ian would not get any donations because a family had found him. My fear was that I would not be able to raise up the ransom for Ian in time, my fear was that my faith was not strong enough. I knew what I was feeling was fear, but it was masked by that ugly thing called envy. I even confronted myself on the fact that I felt some degree of anger over people whose adoptions I had supported with donations, who then turned around and gave money to other waiting children, and not to Ian. That was a real tough one to let go, and I KNOW that I am NOT the only one out there who has struggled over the EXACT same things. I felt bad about having those feelings. Feeling bad about it is God's little way to letting me know that I need to study his word and examples in the bible for the answer.

God has used this situation to teach me a lesson that I had to learn, in order to be able to love more and love more genuinely. Motive is everything, and God knows when your motives are not in order, even if you say they are, or act towards others that they are. God knew I needed a teaching on envy, and used a test of trust in him to do so.

You see, as I began to REALLY trust GOD that if I did my absolute best to get Ian home, that he would do the rest. I confronted myself, even before Ian had a single dollar in his grant fund, and I made myself think powerful thoughts that changed me. I thought and prayed and then it happened - I realized that the waiting kids, no matter how much money is in their fund, they are STILL WAITING. Once a family steps forward, and it is usually because of a feeling that God has led them there, that child has his or her own personal warriors.

The WAITING CHILDREN do not. They are not coming home, until someone steps forward. They need all the money in their accounts that can be mustered, to help the family that cannot raise it in time.

God knew, way before I did, that Ian would have so many people loving him by praying and donating to get him home, that he didn't need a full grant for us to step forward. So, that money that might have gone to Ian before we took him off the orphan market, could then go to other WAITING CHILDREN.

Seems simple to you I bet. It was not simple to me. I fought the devil of envy and fear. My victory now allows me to love with more genuine motive. I know that God knows that I am growing up, maturing spiritually, and I am being rewarded in many ways.

Today, Ian has nearly $5,000.00 in his account, which was at ZERO not long ago. God did that. He will get Ian home, and I know that I don't have to let fear disturb the peace that Jesus died for me to have.

Killing envy and jealousy in our lives is so important as Christians if we are to truly help others. We cannot be helping folks on the one hand, while stewing over something that someone else has that we don't. We have to live up to the idea that we trust that God has and will give us everything he intends for us to have, from children, to money, to health. We grow in love, agape love, when we die to self, and killing envy must be a part of our Christian walk.

Yes, we still need to raise up thousands of dollars to get Ian home, but for God, that is not even a ripple in the waters of what his love and mercy do everyday for millions on earth. It will come, and Ian will come home, and he will not die alone in an institution.

As of right now, that IS NOT the case for hundreds of others. ONE in particular.....

There is a little girl that I have been thinking about for such a long time. She never shows up on the My Family Found Me page, and her chances of adoption are slim to none. I am going to advocate for her until my, or her, last breath. If you read this blog, please help me. If you know anyone, anywhere, that is looking for a little girl to adopt, please send them to her page at Reece's Rainbow here: http://reecesrainbow.org/victoria-1

She is not ideal - as our twisted world would have us believe. She is older - almost 9 years old. She has been bedridden her entire life - She has misformed limbs. She is cognitively perfect - although 9 years as an orphan, and many in an institution, have left marks. She is small for her age, and they buzzed her hair.

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL. THIS IS "Victoria."

If she were the next girl adopted from the page where she is listed, her grant would be for $3667.50. That is not enough, she needs more!! Pray for someone to adopt her or step forward with a full grant for her to clear the way for a family.

For Christmas, won't you please pray with your family that someone SEE VICTORIA and come forward for her? Can we let her languish and die after seeing this face? The face of God? I beg of you to share her with people you know. I beg for your prayers for her. I beg God for a family for her, and soon.

Amen.